“Is that your real hair or did you scalp an angel?”

Bob Hope - Larry Haines

- Martin Daniels: He says he doesn't wear a wig, and a person doesn't take it as a compliment if you say, "nice wig".
- Clifford: But I didn't say "nice wig", Uncle Martin, I said "bestest-looking wig". I believe there is a difference.
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“- Reginald Anson: They're pretty.
- Elizabeth aka Betty from Cardiff: Mmm, yes. Not as pretty as me... you are supposed to say that.”

Hugh Grant - Reginald Anson
Tara Fitzgerald - Elizabeth aka Betty from Cardiff

“- Garbitsch: Brunettes are trouble makers. They're worse than the Jews.
- Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania: Then wipe them out.
- Garbitsch: Start small. Not so fast. We get rid of the Jews first, then concentrate on the brunettes.”
Henry Daniell - Garbitsch
Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania

“Looks familiar, but dearie, these blondes all bleach alike.”

Esther Howard - Jean