“- Shaun: Mum, he chased me around the garden with a bit of wood!
- Barbara: Well you did call him a you-know-what!
- Shaun: Oh what, did he tell you that?
- Barbara: Yes he did.
- Shaun: Motherfucker!
- Barbara: Shaun!
- Shaun: Sorry mother... mum!”
Simon Pegg - Shaun
Penelope Wilton - Barbara

- Junior: Your mother's so poor I saw her kicking cans and I asked her what she was doing she said "moving".
- Walter: Your mother's so old she used to drive chariots to high school.
- Junior: Your mother's so fat when she fell over, broke her leg and gravy poured out.
- Walter: I told your mother to act her age and the bitch dropped dead.
Kadeem Hardison - Junior
John Marshall Jones - Walter

“Now, why would you call his mother a garden tool?”
Edith Fields - Principal

“- Rose Darko: Our son just called me a bitch.
- Eddie Darko: You're not a bitch. You're bitchin', but you're not a bitch.”
Mary McDonnell - Rose Darko
Holmes Osborne - Eddie Darko

“- Debbie: I was out with a friend.
- Fiona: Oh, a friend? Are all your friends deviant men twice your age?
- Debbie: What are you talking about?
- Fiona: Giving your body to men. You're a whore just like your mother!
- Debbie: Don't call me that! I'm nothing like her.”
Rose McGowan - Debbie Strand
Peg Shirley - Fiona Long