“- Miss Universe: I appreciate the irony, but when it is drenched in poison, it is drained of its force and reveals something else.
- Jimmy Tree: What?
- Miss Universe: Frustration.”
Madalina Diana Ghenea - Miss Universe
Paul Dano - Jimmy Tree

“- Mary Katherine Gallagher: So what really happened to your parents?
- Slater: They were savagely ripped apart and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: That happens a lot.”
Molly Shannon - Mary Katherine Gallagher
Harland Williams - Slater

“There should be a prerequisite, a curriculum for being a parent before people attempt. Don’t try this at home!”
Adrien Brody - Henry Barthes

“- The Great Edgar: For my next experiment, I will saw the little maharaja in half.
- Charlie: I'm a victim of sawcumstances.”
Edgar Bergen - The Great Edgar
Charlie McCarthy - Charlie

“Funny how I meet you at all my homicides.”

Sam Levene - Police Lt. Abrams