“Gurrllll, you a cross between Martha Stewart and Oprah. I'm gon call you motrah!”
Jamie Kennedy - Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman

“- Eddie: You mean that obese bully?
- Jake Tarlow: Bluto's not obese. He's just a barrel chested guy. He's sexy, suave, he's like a man. Not like Popeye. I mean Bluto was romance, singing to the chick. He's like Cary Grant compared to Popeye.”
Jake La Botz - Eddie
Mark Boone Junior - Jake Tarlow

“You're the prettiest girl in all the world. You're even prettier than a P-38.”

Van Johnson - Ted Randall

“- Det. Lt. Mark McPherson: Were you in love with Laura Hunt, Mr. Lydecker? Was she in love with you?
- Waldo Lydecker: Laura considered me the wisest, the wittiest, the most interesting man she'd ever met.”
Dana Andrews - Det. Lt. Mark McPherson
Clifton Webb - Waldo Lydecker

“You're Chris Brander. You're Hollywood, you date models. He's Dusty Dinkleman, he's Jersey, he skis in his jeans. It's Dinkleman.”
Fred Ewanuick - Clark