“You do know it is a federal offense to destroy a United States Post Office?”

Richard Jenkins - Paul Harmon

“An office is no place to do business.”
Jeffrey Tambor - Vance Crasswell

“Oh, come right in. Don't let the fact that my door's closed dissuade you in any way from entering my office.”
Gilbert Gottfried - Sidney Bernstein

“- David Starsky: It's 10 o'clock, you're late, I've been here since 8.
- Ken Hutchinson: 8 o'clock? I didn't even know this place opened at 8.”
Ben Stiller - David Starsky
Owen Wilson - Ken Hutchinson

“- Doralee Rhodes: You know... I just don't get it, Dwayne.
- Dwayne Rhodes: What's that, honey?
- Doralee Rhodes: I'm as nice as I know how to be to every single person in that office. Everyone treats me like a... bastard at a family reunion.”
Dolly Parton - Doralee Rhodes
Jeffrey Douglas Thomas - Dwayne Rhodes