- Lucky Jordan: Don't you know that you shouldn't be drinking at your age?
- Annie ("Ma"): I'd like to be drinking at your age, but time passes.
Alan Ladd - Lucky Jordan
Mabel Paige - Annie ("Ma")

“- Gordon Urquhart: I want you to try this Scotch. It's 42 years old.
- Mac MacIntyre: Old enough to be out on its own.”
Denis Lawson - Urquhart
Peter Riegert - Mac

“- Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
- Finch: Single malt?
- Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.”

Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom

“- Elise Elliot Atchison: You've always been jealous of me, even in college! Because I was blonde and beautiful, and could have any guy I wanted!
- Brenda Morelli Cushman: Could and did! All the senior class and half the faculty!
- Elise Elliot Atchison: It was the sixties.”
Goldie Hawn - Elise Elliot Atchison
Bette Midler - Brenda Morelli Cushman

“- Joey Popchik: Age before beauty.
- Gloves Malloy: After you.”

Harry Hamlin - Joey Popchik