“- Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
- Finch: Single malt?
- Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.”

Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom

- Lucky Jordan: Don't you know that you shouldn't be drinking at your age?
- Annie ("Ma"): I'd like to be drinking at your age, but time passes.
Alan Ladd - Lucky Jordan
Mabel Paige - Annie ("Ma")

“- Gordon Urquhart: I want you to try this Scotch. It's 42 years old.
- Mac MacIntyre: Old enough to be out on its own.”
Denis Lawson - Urquhart
Peter Riegert - Mac

“- Joey Popchik: Age before beauty.
- Gloves Malloy: After you.”

Harry Hamlin - Joey Popchik

“Why do men have to get better looking when they get older. Remind me to bring it up with the Equal Rights Commission.”
Jane Seymour Fonda - Hannah Warren