“- Tess, the mother: I think you have these qualities that you demand and when you meet a nice man you disqualify him for the smallest fault.
- Bea: That's not true.
- Tess, the mother: So, what was wrong with Nat Bernstein?
- Bea: He wore white socks with a tuxedo!”
Julie Kavner - Tess, the mother
Dianne Wiest - Bea

“It's too good to be true! He's 6-4, has black hair, blue eyes, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and tells the truth!”

Valerie Perrine - Eve Teschmacher

“- Denise: Ooohhh, he's delicious, isn't he? I'd serve coffee on that ass.
- John: Do you have to be so vulgar about men? Like they're pieces of meat?
- Denise: Sorry, John. I forgot you're sensitive about your flat ass.”

Lisa Kudrow - Denise
James Marsters - John

“- Adam: They say women are the sensitive ones, but I've never seen it. They're as cold as party ice.
- Victoria: I don't think that sucking on countless nipples makes one an authority on sensitivity.”
Johnathon Schaech - Adam
Kaitlin Hopkins - Victoria

"She's got the three things that really matter in a wife" everyone said, "Breeding, brains and beauty". And I believed them - completely. But I never had a moment of happiness with her.

Laurence Olivier - "Maxim" de Winter