“- Forrest Gump: A bullet?
- Fat Man at Bench: That jumped up and bit you.
- Forrest Gump: Oh, yes sir. Bit me right in the buttocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money 'cause I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.”
Tom Hanks - Forrest Gump
Bill Roberson - Fat Man at Bench

“The army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn't big enough.”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie

“- Chicolini: I think we should have a standing army.
- Rufus T. Firefly: Why should we have a standing army?
- Chicolini: Because then we save money on chairs.”
Chico Marx - Chicolini
Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly

“One man with gun has more authority than whole army without ammunition.”
Sidney Toler - Charlie Chan

The government said "We want men to fight the Nazis, join today". So I joined. I figured they were in a hurry. That was three hundred and eighty seven days ago.
Raymond Massey - Andy Brock