“- Ben Stone: So, uh, where's dad?
- Sybil Stone: He ran away. Joined the circus.
- Everett Stone: Better circus.
- Patrick Thomas: Yeah. Less clowns.”
Luke Wilson - Ben Stone
Diane Keaton - Sybil Stone
Dermot Mulroney - Everett Stone
Brian White - Patrick Thomas

“- Ted Kramer: I'm sorry too. I want you to go to sleep because it's really late.
- Billy Kramer: Daddy?
- Ted Kramer: Now what is it?
- Billy Kramer: Are you going away?
- Ted Kramer: No. I'm staying here with you. You can't get rid of me that easy.”
Dustin Hoffman - Ted Kramer
Justin Henry - Billy Kramer

My father left home when I was 5. That's why I'm named Jack, as in "Jack, tell your mother I'm just going out to get the paper".
Nicolas Cage - Jack Singer

“You've got strange ideas about justice. You don't want to hit nobody unless they deserve it. Now, that's all right, but we're in business. And business is different!”

George "Gabby" Hayes - Doc Grunch

“- Caroline Sexton: You poor, deluded little monkey. Who do you think brought you to these people? Without me, Brad, you would be nothing.
- Brad Sexton: I beg your pardon, but I had a very successful real estate career before I ever met you.”
Kirstie Alley - Caroline Sexton
Tim Allen - Brad Sexton