“- Kay: You know things before they happen.
- Laura Vasquez: I'm a Libra!”
Tommy Lee Jones - Kay
Rosario Dawson - Laura Vasquez

“This is Debbie's chart. It's really weird. Because there was an eclipse the day she was born, both the sun and the moon were blocking Saturn. There should be something missing from her personality.”
Lori Lethin - Joyce Russel

“Oh, we were doomed from the start. I'm an Earth sign. She's a Water sign. Together, we made mud.”

Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon

“- Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.: Mama, Vicky is an astrologist.
- Helen 'Mama' Boucher: I don't believe in that sort of thing personally. Astrology is one of the many tools of the devil.”
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.
Kathy Bates - Helen 'Mama' Boucher

“- Man: If astrology were true...
- Sam: It is true! It is totally, totally, totally provable, you know?
- Female Party Guest: Provable how? From gypsies?
- Sam: Well, it's totally logical, right? You know, why wouldn't the position of the planets have an influence on our personalities?”
Lysette Anthony - Sam