Alan Arkin movie quotes

- Maxwell Smart: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- The Chief: I don't know. Were you thinking "Holy shit, holy shit, a swordfish almost went through my head?". If so, then yes.
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart
Alan Arkin - The Chief

“- Dr. Oatman: Martin, I'm emotionally involved with you.
- Martin Q. Blank: How are you emotionally involved with me?
- Dr. Oatman: I'm afraid of you.”
Alan Arkin - Dr. Oatman
John Cusack - Martin Q. Blank

“That's the privilege of old age: You don't have to remember.”
Alan Arkin

“For everybody, the tide comes in, the tide goes out - if you're an actor, particularly.”
Alan Arkin

“No matter what you do or where you are, you're going to be missing out on something.”
Alan Arkin

“- Louis 'Lightning' Conlon: Oh, for God's sakes. A guy has sex with my girl, I want to knock his teeth out! Why didn't you?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Because Kid loved boxing. I wanted to take from him the one thing he cared about most, because that's what he took from me.
- Louis 'Lightning' Conlon: Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it.”
Alan Arkin - Louis 'Lightning' Conlon
Sylvester Stallone - Henry 'Razor' Sharp

“If you hit it right, it's one hell of a life.”
Alan Arkin - Unca Lou Handler

“- Louis 'Lightning' Conlon: You got an iPad?
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Nah, I got a regular couch.”
Alan Arkin - Louis 'Lightning' Conlon
Sylvester Stallone - Henry 'Razor' Sharp

“- Lightning: Strange how life works out, huh? Oh, I'm flashing on to a stripper I knew once in Korea. She never charged me, not even for the most daring requests. I keep hoping I'd run into her again someday. Her and her ping-pong ball...
- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Ooh. Hey.
- Lightning: I'm just saying, seeing the two of you together gives me hope.”
Alan Arkin - Louis 'Lightning' Conlon
Sylvester Stallone - Henry 'Razor' Sharp

“- Henry 'Razor' Sharp: You remember the first thing you said to me? I did.
- Louis 'Lightning' Conlon: I said you looked like a garbage salesman come to take out the trash.”
Sylvester Stallone - Henry 'Razor' Sharp
Alan Arkin - Louis 'Lightning' Conlon

“What kind of man knowingly takes a job where he's gotta wash another man's balls?”

Alan Arkin - Louis 'Lightning' Conlon

“- Schmendrick: The magic chose the shape, not I. I am a bearer, I am a dwelling, I am a messenger...
- Molly Grue: You are an idiot!”
Alan Arkin - Schmendrick
Tammy Grimes - Molly Grue

“Bad news, bad news. Even when it's good news, it's bad news. John Wayne in the ground 6 months and this is what is left of America.”
Alan Arkin - Lester Siegel

“- Dr. Oatman: Don't kill anybody for a few days. See what it feels like.
- Martin Q. Blank: Alright, I'll give it a shot.
- Dr. Oatman: No, don't give it a shot! Don't shoot anything!”
Alan Arkin - Dr. Oatman
John Cusack - Martin Q. Blank

“- Lester Siegel: Hi, I only got a couple of minutes, I'm getting a lifetime achievement award.
- John Chambers: Mazel tov, Lester.
- Lester Siegel: I'd rather stay home and count the wrinkles on my dog's balls.”
Alan Arkin - Lester Siegel
John Goodman - John Chambers

“- Cliff: How do I look?
- Peevy: Like a hood ornament.”

Billy Campbell - Cliff
Alan Arkin - Peevy

“- Val: how's your health?
- Hirsch: Well, they took something out of me a couple of months ago.
- Val: What'd they take out?
- Hirsch: I don't know. I didn't ask, it's none of my business. But I'm a little more streamlined now, a little more aerodynamic.”
Al Pacino - Val
Alan Arkin - Hirsch

“- Arnie Klein: Listen, take a vacation. Go away for a couple of weeks. Take a month off.
- John: Go where?
- Arnie Klein: I dunno.
- John: I live in a vacation spot.
- Arnie Klein: Then go to someplace where it's painful and sad.”
Alan Arkin - Arnie Klein
Owen Wilson - John

“Until the last line has been spoken, the curtain cannot come down.”
Alan Arkin - Frankfurter

“- Peevy: You got a good thing goin' on with that girl, Clifford. And I'm tellin' you right now, if she flies the coop, it's gonna be your fault.
- Cliff: What do you know about women, Peev? You haven't had a date since 1932.
- Peevy: Flora Maxwell. There wasn't any point datin' nobody after her.”

Alan Arkin - Peevy
Billy Campbell - Cliff

“- George Aaronow: When I talk to the police I get nervous.
- Ricky Roma: Yes. You know who doesn't?
- George Aaronow: Who?
- Ricky Roma: Thieves.”
Alan Arkin - George Aaronow
Al Pacino - Ricky Roma

“- Troy: Luck is the lazy man's excuse.
- Gene: Ah, spoken like a man who's had nothing but luck.”
Matthew McConaughey - Troy
Alan Arkin - Gene

“- Grandpa Edwin Hoover: When you're young, you're crazy to do that shit.
- Frank Ginsberg: Well what about you?
- Grandpa Edwin Hoover: What about me? I'm old. When you're old you're crazy not to do it.”

Toni Collette - Sheryl Hoover
Steve Carrell - Frank Ginsberg
Alan Arkin - Grandpa Edwin Hoover

“Jesus, I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. You know how tired I am? If a girl came up to me and begged me to fuck her, I couldn't do it. That's how tired I am.”
Alan Arkin - Grandpa Edwin Hoover

“Olive, Richard is an idiot. I like a woman with meat on her bones.”

Alan Arkin - Grandpa Edwin Hoover