Bill Cosby movie quotes

“It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is
not all that's beautiful.”
Bill Cosby

“The heart of marriage is memories.”

Bill Cosby

“Think about your father. He doesn't know where anything is. You ask him to do something, he messes it up. That's a genius at work! Because he doesn't want to do it! And he knows someone will be coming soon to stop him from doing it!”
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“- Diane Hopper: Look, Romeo and Juliet. That's love. He... he took poison for her! What have you ever done for me?
- Elliot Hopper: Ate the Spaghetti-Os.”
Kimberly Russell - Diane Hopper
Bill Cosby - Elliot Hopper

Every father says the same thing: "Where's your mother?".
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“- Mr. Billings: The air conditioning's on the fritz and it's hotter than Hell up here!
- Barney Satin: Ha! He doesn't know how hot it is.”

Ted Zeigler - Mr. Billings
Bill Cosby - Barney Satin

“- Elliot Hopper: Mr. Nero, how are you?
- Mr. Nero: Oh, good. I'm eating solid foods again.”
Bill Cosby - Elliot Hopper
George Ganz - Mr. Nero

“- Curtis Burch, the Cabbie: I am yours to command!
- Elliot Hopper: Command? Command? I command you to go to hell and sit on a red hot coal, and wait for me, until it snows!
- Curtis Burch, the Cabbie: Oh, yes! Yes, evil master! Yes!”
Raynor Scheine - Curtis Burch, the Cabbie
Bill Cosby - Elliot Hopper

They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun". So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?".

Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

It was because of my father that from the ages of seven to fifteen, I thought that my name was Jesus Christ and my brother, Russell, thought that his name was Dammit. "Dammit, will you stop all that noise?", and, "Jesus Christ, sit down!". One day, I'm out playing in the rain, and my father yelled, "Dammit will you get back in here!". I said, ... (continue)(continue reading)
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“- Max Devlin: You want me to corrupt the souls of little kids? See, I've never been much on kids... but that's not a nice thing.
- Barney Satin: Neither is Level 4.
- Max Devlin: Where do I sign?”

Elliott Gould - Max Devlin
Bill Cosby - Barney Satin

I said to a guy: "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful", and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality". I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?".
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are".
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“Parents aren't interested in justice, they want quiet!”
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“- Max Devlin: Oh my God!
- Barney Satin: I wish you wouldn't say that.
- Max Devlin: I'm sorry!
- Barney Satin: Yeah.”
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin
Bill Cosby - Barney Satin

When they ask you a question, you try and answer, they tell you to shut up! "Day and night, night and day, work my fingers to the bone, for what?". "I don't...". "Shut up! And when I ask you a question, you keep your trap shut! Think I'm talking to hear myself talk? Answer me!".

Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“I asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic, he told me how he killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook.”
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

A person with no children says, "Well I just love children", and you say "Why?", and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em, they tell the truth". That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain.
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, "You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you".
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“- Max Devlin: That's entrapment! It's not fair!
- Barney Satin: Fair? Are you forgetting where you are?”

Elliott Gould - Max Devlin
Bill Cosby - Barney Satin

The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse".
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“You know, one of the good things about being a ghost is that lights on, lights off, I'm still here.”

Bill Cosby - Elliot Hopper

“I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it. I don't know where I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job... and I don't want it.”
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

"Ahh, Jesus... Oh, God... If You get me out of this, I won't drink again as long as I live... ". Now you are ready to put your face in a place that was never built for your face.

Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

My mother said to me: "When your father gets home, he's going to shoot you in the face with a bazooka! And I'm not going to stop him this time, either! You know, he's always wanted to kill you! The day you were born, he said: kill it! I stopped him from killing you for eleven years... and this is the thanks I get for saving your life!".
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby