Bob Hope movie quotes

“I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.”
Bob Hope

“If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.”
Bob Hope

“The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. ”
Bob Hope

“I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.”
Bob Hope

“People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.”
Bob Hope

“I was lucky, you know. I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good.”

Bob Hope

“They are doing things on the screen now that I wouldn't do in bed. If I could.”

Bob Hope

“If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
”
Bob Hope

“- Fozzie Bear: Hello, I'd like an ice cream.
- Ice Cream Vendor: What do you want? Chocolate, vanilla, coffee, peach, fudge, rum, banana?
- Fozzie Bear: Honey.
- Ice Cream Vendor: Honey? I beg your pardon, I hardly know you.
- Fozzie Bear: Seriously, I'd like a honey ice cream cone for me, and a dragonfly ripple for my friend the frog.”
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear
Bob Hope - Ice Cream Vendor

“- Karen Bentley: My name's Karen Bentley. I can't tell you any more.
- Larry Haines: My name's Larry Haines. There's no more to tell.”
Madeleine Carroll - Karen Bentley
Bob Hope - Larry Haines

“If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”
Bob Hope

“I don't mind dying, but I hate the preliminaries.”
Bob Hope - Larry Lawrence

“If you watch a game, it's fun. IF you play it, it's recreation.
if you work at it, it's golf.”
Bob Hope

“Your ignorance cramps my conversation.”
Bob Hope

“- Mother of 9-Year-Old Girl: I have a girl of nine who won't listen to what's right. She always does what's wrong. What should I do?
- Larry Haines: Wait ten years, and if there's no improvement... send me her number.”

Nell Craig - Mother of 9-Year-Old Girl
Bob Hope - Larry Haines

“Me, I'm mentally retarded. I'm still 11-years-old when it comes to the 4th of July, circuses and haunted castles.”
Bob Hope - Larry Lawrence

“I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.”
Bob Hope

“I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for half the money.”
Bob Hope

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.”
Bob Hope

“Must've been someone he ate.”

Bob Hope - Fearless Hubert Frazier

- Orville "Turkey" Jackson: What did you sell him?
- Jeff Peters: I want you to keep very calm now. Don't get excited.
- Orville "Turkey" Jackson: What did you sell him?
- Jeff Peters: You.

Bob Hope - Orville "Turkey" Jackson
Bing Crosby - Jeff Peters

“- Geoff Montgomery: It's worse than horrible because a zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.
- Larry Lawrence: You mean like Democrats?”
Richard Carlson - Geoff Montgomery
Bob Hope - Larry Lawrence

“I just want you to stand there and admire me for a while. I just got an idea that's gonna make us a fortune. I don't know how I do it.”
Bob Hope - Ace Lannigan

“Is that your real hair or did you scalp an angel?”

Bob Hope - Larry Haines

“- Larry Haines: You sure you know how to run this thing?
- Karen Bentley: Sure! My brother's a British ace.
- Larry Haines: Well, my uncle's a dogcatcher, but I can't bark.”

Bob Hope - Larry Haines
Madeleine Carroll - Karen Bentley