Bruno Kirby movie quotes

“- Deputy: Father, Father I've been shot!
- Ned: I'm very happy for you.”
Bruno Kirby - Deputy
Robert De Niro - Ned

“Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn't possibly all have good taste.”
Bruno Kirby - Jess

“- Ed Furillo: He turned around and he left. He never bothered us again. Well, I took care of my mother and my sister from that day on. That's my best day.
- Phil Berquist: What was your worst day?
- Ed Furillo: Same day.”

Bruno Kirby - Ed Furillo
Daniel Stern - Phil Berquist

“- Victor Ray: This is my uncle, Carmine Sabatini. Uncle Carmine, this is Clark. Hey, you know you never told me your last name?
- Clark Kellogg: Kellogg.
- Victor Ray: Kellogg.
- Carmine Sabatini: Just like the cereal. Like the breakfast cereal.”
Bruno Kirby - Victor Ray
Matthew Broderick - Clark Kellogg
Marlon Brando - Carmine Sabatini

“- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: I just got here and I haven't...
- Marty Lewis: Wait! What do you mean you just got there?
- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Yeah. Right. Minutes ago.
- Marty Lewis: You left on Tuesday. Today's Saturday.
- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: That happened to you, too? That's weird. The same mix-up happened to me this morning!”
Bill Murray - Hunter S. Thompson
Bruno Kirby - Marty Lewis

I finally realized, he wasn't just cheating on my mother, he was cheating us. So I told him, I said, "you're bad to us. We don't love you. I'll take care of my mother and my sister. We don't need you any more". And he made like he was gonna hit me, but I didn't budge.

Bruno Kirby - Ed Furillo

“Draw something resembling anything!”

Bruno Kirby - Jess

“- Lt. Steven Hauk: Who do we have slated for live entertainment in November?
- Phil McPherson: Well, we originally wanted Bob Hope, but it turns out he won't come.
- Lt. Steven Hauk: Why not?
- Edward Garlick: He doesn't play police actions, just wars. Bob likes a big room, sir.”
Bruno Kirby - Lt. Steven Hauk
Juney Smith - Phil McPherson
Forest Whitaker - Edward Garlick

“- Lt. Steven Hauk: The former V.P. is a good man and a decent man.
- Gen. Taylor: Bullshit! I know Nixon personally. He lugs a trainload of shit behind him that could fertilize the Sinai. Why, I wouldn't buy an apple from the son of a bitch, and I consider him a good, close personal friend.”
Bruno Kirby - Lt. Steven Hauk
Noble Willingham - Gen. Taylor

- Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
- Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.
Bruno Kirby - Jess
Billy Crystal - Harry Burns

“- Robert Cole: Jay, listen... I didn't tell you this before, and I think I should tell you now. I love you. I mean, in the right way. I think you're an amazing guy, and I think I just love you.
- Jay: The ludes kicked in, right?”

Albert Brooks - Robert Cole
Bruno Kirby - Jay

“Kid, here in New York we have three distinct social classes. A. People who make a billion dollars a day and get laid in some tower every night. B. People who live in Times Square and eat Yankee Doodles on the sidewalk. And C. Guys like me. Guys who I like to call the glue in society.”

Bruno Kirby - Victor Ray

“- Marie: Restaurants are to people in the 80's what theatres were to people in the 60's. I read that in a magazine.
- Jess: I wrote that.”
Carrie Fisher - Marie
Bruno Kirby - Jess

“- Stuart Little: Good-bye, fake father! Good-bye, fake mother!
- Mrs. Stout: Good-bye, fake son! ...I'm gonna miss that boy.
- Mr. Stout: I'm gonna miss that car.”

Michael J. Fox - Stuart Little
Jennifer Tilly - Mrs. Stout
Bruno Kirby - Mr. Stout

“Sir, in my heart, I know I'm funny.”
Bruno Kirby - Lt. Steven Hauk

- Mitch Robbins: Those cows trusted us.
- Ed Furillo: Trusted us? They followed us because we yelled, "Yah". They're cattle.
Billy Crystal - Mitch Robbins
Bruno Kirby - Ed Furillo