Dan Fogler movie quotes

“- Jacob Kowalski: Are you going somewhere?
- Newt Scamander: No. We're going somewhere.
- Jacob Kowalski: Genius!”
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski
Eddie Redmayne - Newt Scamander

“- Jacob Kowalski: Are you... are you a ghost?
- Nicolas Flamel: No, I'm alive. But I'm an alchemist and therefore immortal.”
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski
Brontis Jodorowsky - Nicolas Flamel

“- Jacob Kowalski: I'm dreaming, right? I'm tired. I never went to the bank. This all just some big nightmare, right?
- Tina: For the both of us, Mr. Kowalski.”
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski
Katherine Waterston - Tina

“- Jacob Kowalski: Did... Did you say school? Is there a school? A wizardry school here in, uh, America?
- Queenie: Of course. Ilvermorny. It's only the best wizard school in the whole world.
- Newt: I think you'll find the best wizarding school in the world is Hogwarts.”
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski
Alison Sudol - Queenie
Eddie Redmayne - Newt

“- Charlie: I'm a doctor.
- Stu: He's a heart surgeon. You're a dentist. It's like saying General Patton and Colonel Mustard are both military men.”
Dane Cook - Charlie
Dan Fogler - Stu

“- Jacob Kowalski: You, uh, you know how to read minds?
- Queenie: Oh, don't worry, honey. Most guys think what you was thinking first time they see me.”
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski
Alison Sudol - Queenie

“- Jacob Kowalski: Can someone please tell me what this Obscurial... Obscurius thing is? Please?
- Tina: There hasn't been one for centuries.
- Newt: I met one in Sudan three months ago. There used to be more of them, but they still exist. Before wizards went underground when we were still being hunted by Muggles, young wizards and witches...” (continue)(continue reading)
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski
Katherine Waterston - Tina
Eddie Redmayne - Newt

“- Newt: People like you, don't they, Mr. Kowalski?
- Jacob Kowalski: Oh. Well, I'm, uh, I'm sure people like you, too, huh?
- Newt: Not really, no. I annoy people.”
Eddie Redmayne - Newt
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski

- Stu: I'm a reconstructive surgeon. If anyone has an accident or was born with a deformity, I'm there to help.
- Charlie: And by "deformity" he means small breasts.
- Stu: He's just jealous because he has to clean plaque all day long while I'm out making the world a better place.
Dan Fogler - Stu
Dane Cook - Charlie

“- Newt: I need to get going. Find everyone who's escaped, before they get hurt.
- Jacob Kowalski: Before they get hurt?
- Newt: Yes, Mr. Kowalski. For they're currently in alien terrain surrounded by millions of the most vicious creatures on the planet... Humans.”
Eddie Redmayne - Newt
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski

“- Jacob Kowalski: What the hell was that?
- Newt: Nothing that need concern you. Now, unfortunately, you have seen far too much. So if you wouldn't mind, if you just stand there, this will be over in a jiffy.
- Jacob Kowalski: Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah. Okay.”
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski
Eddie Redmayne - Newt

“- Newt: Now there's absolutely nothing for you to worry about.
- Jacob Kowalski: Tell me, has anyone ever believed you when you told them not to worry?”

Eddie Redmayne - Newt
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski

“- Newt: Put this on.
- Jacob Kowalski: But why would I have to wear something like this?
- Newt: Because your skull is susceptible to breakage under immenseforce.”

Eddie Redmayne - Newt
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski

“- Queenie: I'll come with you. We'll go somewhere. We'll go anywhere. See, I ain't never gonna find anyone like you.
- Jacob Kowalski: There's loads like me.
- Queenie: No. No. There's only one like you.”
Alison Sudol - Queenie
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski

“- Jacob Kowalski: Newt. I don't think I'm dreaming.
- Newt: What gave it away?
- Jacob Kowalski: I ain't got the brains to make this up.”
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski
Eddie Redmayne - Newt

“- Queenie: Are all No-Majs like you?
- Jacob Kowalski: No, I'm the only one like me.”
Alison Sudol - Queenie
Dan Fogler - Jacob Kowalski

“Greatest deed Luke Skywalker ever did was take down the Death Star, right? As far as I'm concerned, that's what everybody needs. You need that one bad-ass thing that lets you live on forever, you know.”
Dan Fogler - Hutch

“Rule number one: In my van, it's Rush. All Rush, all the time. No exceptions. Rule number two: Nobody touch the red button. And I mean never touch the red button. Most importantly, rule number three: There's no jerking it in my van!”
Dan Fogler - Hutch

“- Windows: I met her in a Jedi chatroom. The woman is perfect. She's intelligent and acerbic, and a die-hard fan. She's even got connections inside the Lucas camp. You guys are all just jealous because she describes herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garafolo.
- Hutch: Tell 'em how you described yourself.
- Windows: I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jay Baruchel - Windows
Dan Fogler - Hutch
Chris Marquette - Linus

“- Head of Security: We know about your uniball. We know everything, Mr. Harold Hutchinson, aka Hutch. Son of Gloria. Humongous Rush fan.
- Hutch: Dude, you're freaking me out. How do you know this?
- Head of Security: Because you have a Rush shirt on, dipshit.”
Danny McBride - Head of Security
Dan Fogler - Hutch

“- Charlie: It's that word, man. Love. I wanted to say it but I just couldn't. How could I say something if I don't feel it?
- Stu: Easy. Lie! What do you think all relationships are based on, man? Lies!”
Dane Cook - Charlie
Dan Fogler - Stu

“What is it that all women want? To get married, raise crib midgets.”
Dan Fogler - Stu

What's the Klingon for "I'm going to die a virgin"?
Dan Fogler - Hutch