Dean Martin movie quotes

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.”
Dean Martin

“I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant'.”
Dean Martin

“I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.”
Dean Martin On Pat Boone

“- Morris Fenderbaum: I've been called a lot of things but I had never been called a commie.
- Jamie Blake: I'm not even a democrat!”
Sammy Davis Jr. - Morris Fenderbaum
Dean Martin - Jamie Blake

“You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
Dean Martin

“- Zelda Spooner: I suppose you have never heard of the Beatles either.
- Dino: Oh sure. And I can sing better than all three of them.
- Zelda Spooner: There are four of them!
- Dino: Oh, haven't you heard? One of them got his hair caught in his guitar and was electrocuted.
- Zelda Spooner: You can make jokes about them but they're young and...” (continue)(continue reading)
Felicia Farr - Zelda
Dean Martin - Dino

“Now look lady, you may have heard a lot of singers but you ain't heard nothin' sung till you've heard me sung it.”

Dean Martin - Dino

There was the one about this doctor, you see? He was examining a girl's knee and he says, "What's a joint like this doing on a pretty girl like you?".
Dean Martin - Dino

“I need another Italian song like a giraffe needs a strep throat.”

Dean Martin - Dino

“If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.”
Dean Martin

“Am I a better singer or actor? Why do people ask me that? I'm a wonderful singer! As an actor, well, judge for yourself — just don't tell me about it if you don't think I'm very good.”
Dean Martin

“- Jamie Blake: We're gonna race to Connecticut and the one that wins gets a million dollars in cash.
- Tony: Only a moron would back up a race like that!”
Dean Martin - Jamie Blake
Alex Rocco - Tony

“- Jamie Blake: We're gonna die. We're gonna die, we're gonna die. What do you think they're gonna do to us?
- Morris Fenderbaum: I don't know what they're gonna do to you, but since Mr. T ain't here, I'll be too busy licking their boots to see.”
Dean Martin - Jamie Blake
Sammy Davis Jr. - Morris Fenderbaum

“When I make a dry martini, I make a dry martini.”
Dean Martin - Jamie Blake

- Fenderbaum: Why did he call me “Shorty”?
- Jamie Blake: 'Cause you're small. Small. S - M - all.
Sammy Davis Jr. - Fenderbaum
Dean Martin - Jamie Blake