Elliott Gould movie quotes

“My greatest fear is to be misunderstood.”
Elliott Gould

“My problem was I let myself become known before I knew myself.”
Elliott Gould

“- Kay Brubaker: You haven't found what you're looking for. You're embarrassed about bothering me again. However, there are one or two questions more you'd like to ask me. It's something personal and you won't bother me any more.
- Robert Caulfield: I haven't found what I'm looking for. I feel embarrassed about bothering you again. However, there...” (continue)(continue reading)
Brenda Vaccaro - Kay Brubaker
Elliott Gould - Robert Caulfield

“- Max Devlin: A weird thing just happened, there's this mirror behind the cashier...
- Barney Satin: You're one of us now. Inhabitants of Hell cast no reflection.”
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin
Bill Cosby - Barney Satin

“- Robert Caulfield: Mr Albaine, how much do you charge to dust a field?
- Albain: Twenty five dollars.
- Robert Caulfield: I'd like to hire your plane.
- Albain: That'll be a hundred dollars.
- Robert Caulfield: You said you charged twenty five?
- Albain: Twenty five dollars to dust a field, but you ain't got no field because you ain't no farmer...” (continue)(continue reading)
Elliott Gould - Robert Caulfield
Telly Savalas - Albain

“- Robert Caulfield: You wouldn't know sincerity if it ran over you.
- Judy Drinkwater: Not if you were driving it.”
Elliott Gould - Robert Caulfield
Karen Black - Judy Drinkwater

“I know more about casino security than any man alive, I invented it, and it cannot be beaten. They got cameras, they got locks, they got watchers, they got timers, they got vaults, they got enough armed personnel to occupy Paris!”
Elliott Gould - Reuben Tishkoff

“- Barney Satin: By midnight, they belong to me.
- Max Devlin: Not until the natural end of their lives. That's what you said.
- Barney Satin: Point of fact: I lied. I need them now.
- Max Devlin: Oh, no! Barney, please! I couldn't have done it if I'd known that! He's a great kid. They're all great kids, but that kid, kill him and you kill her!
-...” (continue)(continue reading)

Bill Cosby - Barney Satin
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin

“- Reuben Tishkoff: Did you know the Inuit people send their elders out on an ice floe to die when they're too old to hunt?
- Danny Ocean: Reuben, that's just a myth.”
Elliott Gould - Reuben Tishkoff
George Clooney - Danny Ocean

“- Kathleen Smith: Bernie, it's inhuman to do that to a baby kangaroo! It's inhuman!
- Bernie Bonnelli: Has anyone ever told you that you're always repeating yourself? This is no ordinary kangaroo... Junior's different.”

Karen Carlson - Kathleen Smith
Elliott Gould - Bernie Bonnelli

“I find it so easy to get distracted - I try not to do more than one thing at any one time.”
Elliott Gould

“Terry, I can't predict the future. I pay professionals to do that, and even they get it wrong sometimes.”
Elliott Gould - Reuben Tishkoff

“- Reuben Tishkoff: Frank come on let me in.
- Turk Malloy: How do you think it feels when you're sitting down on the toilet and someone's banging on the door?
- Reuben Tishkoff: Well, I gotta sit down on the toilet or else I'm gonna shit on your feet.”
Elliott Gould - Reuben Tishkoff
Scott Caan - Turk Malloy

“The moment you become embarrassed of who you are, you lose yourself. I changed my house, the way I dressed, the way I ate - for what? For nothing.”
Elliott Gould - Reuben Tishkoff

When a reporter tells his assignment editor that he thinks he may be on to something that could be really big, the assignment editor is supposed to say: "You've got forty eight hours, kids, and you better come up with something good or it's going to be your neck!" That's what he's supposed to say, I saw it in a movie.
Elliott Gould - Robert Caulfield

“- Toby Hart: It's for you, Mom. It's Uncle Max.
- Penny Hart: Uncle Max. I don't believe it. Tell him that I'm, uh... Tell him that I'm not here.
- Toby Hart: She says to say she's not here.
- Max Devlin: Huh? Well, then you tell her it's somebody else. I have to talk to her.
- Toby Hart: He says to say he's someone else.”
Adam Rich - Toby Hart
Susan Anspach - Penny Hart
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin

“- Max Devlin: I got until midnight, May 15th. That's our deal. Look, I'm... I'm telling you. I'm trying to get these people so hooked on me, they'll sign anything. That takes time. Now, if I go too fast, I'm liable to blow the whole deal!
- Barney Satin: I like your style, Max. You're a devious fellow.”
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin
Bill Cosby - Barney Satin

“- Max Devlin: There's the little old ladies who insists on keeping their pets and the young, married couples who insists on keeping their kids. Not that I've got anything against kids, but some landlords feel it's rough enough taking care of a place these days without them. Thumping and bumping around. And playing handball on your walls at all...” (continue)(continue reading)
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin
Susan Anspach - Penny Hart

“- Reuben Tishkoff: If, God forbid, anything does happen to you, we will not be involved.
- Terry Benedict: You better not be, Reuben. You better not be.”

Elliott Gould - Reuben Tishkoff
Andy Garcia - Terry Benedict

“- Penny Hart: I love you, Max.
- Max Devlin: How could you possibly love me? I'm not lovable. I'm not even nice. I'm irresponsible. Unreliable. You've said so yourself a million times. Look, even if we try, I'll still probably leave you without any warning. I'm a rotten person.
- Penny Hart: The only trouble with you, Max, is that you have no...” (continue)(continue reading)
Susan Anspach - Penny Hart
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin

“- Max Devlin: You want me to corrupt the souls of little kids? See, I've never been much on kids... but that's not a nice thing.
- Barney Satin: Neither is Level 4.
- Max Devlin: Where do I sign?”

Elliott Gould - Max Devlin
Bill Cosby - Barney Satin

“- Sheila: I can't believe it! After all, we've meant to each other, you would actually evict me for keeping a parakeet in my room?
- Max Devlin: Sweetheart, if I let you keep a parakeet, I'd have to let everybody else keep a parakeet and this is not a bird sanctuary, it's an apartment house!”
Julie Parrish - Sheila
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin

“- Max Devlin: Oh my God!
- Barney Satin: I wish you wouldn't say that.
- Max Devlin: I'm sorry!
- Barney Satin: Yeah.”
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin
Bill Cosby - Barney Satin

“She's indestructible. She's an English nanny!”
Elliott Gould - Robert

“Believe me, Penny. My life isn't my own. And on top of everything else, there's my real estate responsibilities, which are considerable. Some landlords will allow a place to go to Hell in a trash can, but not me. Constant repairs, constant maintenance, constant outlays of time and money.”
Elliott Gould - Max Devlin