George Burns movie quotes

“You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.”
George Burns

“It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”
George Burns

“Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples.”
George Burns

“- God: You ever see a front without a back?
- Tracy Richards: No.
- God: A top without a bottom?
- Tracy Richards: No.
- God: An up without a down?
- Tracy Richards: No.
- God: Ok. Then there can't be good without bad, life without death, pleasure without pain. That's the way it is. If I take sad away, happy has to go with it.”
George Burns - God
Louanne - Tracy Richards

“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”
George Burns

“By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.”
George Burns

“There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.”
George Burns

“I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.”
George Burns

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
George Burns

“The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending then having the two as close together as possible.”
George Burns

“Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
George Burns

“It isn't premarital sex if you never get married.”
George Burns

“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.”
George Burns

“- Willie: Joe, you really think this is gonna work?
- Joe: What does it matter? I feel like I'm 40 again.”

Lee Strasberg - Willie
George Burns - Joe

“If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.”
George Burns

“Besides, what the hell could we lose? Either we get the money or we get caught. We're winners either way.”

George Burns - Joe

“- Al: I've never been on a plane before.
- Joe: Neither have I. So what? We're only young once.”
Art Carney - Al
George Burns - Joe

“- Joe: That makes everything harder to trace.
- Al: Boy, you must have done some stealing during the war.”
George Burns - Joe
Art Carney - Al

“Wake up, Al. The cops just called us a bunch of amateurs. I suppose we gotta' knock off a bank every other week in order to get some respect from those jerks.”
George Burns - Joe

“- Dr. Nancy Faulkner: Do you have another doctor?
- Bill: I gave them up when I decided to try for old age.”
Julie Cobb - Dr. Nancy Faulkner
George Burns - Bill

“- Bill: Running away from home?
- Kate: I'm an orphan.
- Bill: What happened to your folks?
- Kate: They died. Went down with a boat. Sank. Forget the name of it. Big boat.
- Bill: Titanic?
- Kate: Yeah, that's it!
- Bill: Then your parents died 63 years before you were born!
- Kate: Which is why I hardly knew them.”
George Burns - Bill
Brooke Shields - Kate

“Feels funny to say, but I get the feeling I'm gonna' be joining you real soon, Willie.”

George Burns - Joe

“When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it´s time to turn out the lights.' The worth of our lives comes by what we give. What we keep, we squander. Look for ways to impart value, be generous with encouragement, and hand out hope to those you lead.”
George Burns

“- Pete: I don't know, Joe. Maybe you should just give 'em back the money from the robbery.
- Joe: Forget it. Al and Willie would both die if I gave that money back. Besides, Pete, let me tell you something. For the past couple of years, me, Al and Willie all sat on that park bench and looked at each other. Maybe a politician would come around...” (continue)(continue reading)
Charles Hallahan - Pete
George Burns - Joe

“Too bad that all the people who really know how to run this country are busy driving taxi cabs or cutting hair.”
George Burns