Graham Arthur Chapman movie quotes

“- Harry Blackitt: [referring to Catholics] Every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby.
- Mrs. Blackitt: But it's the same with us, Harry.
- Harry Blackitt: What do you mean?
- Mrs. Blackitt: Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual intercourse twice.”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Harry Blackitt
Eric Idle - Mrs. Blackitt

- Brian Cohen: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
- Mandy Cohen: Stop thinking about sex!
- Brian Cohen: I wasn't!
- Mandy Cohen: You're always on about it. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?".
Graham Arthur Chapman - Brian Cohen
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen

- Yellowbeard: Betrayin's all part of piratin'. If you don't know that you're not even close to being a pirate, "Prawn of my loins", my foot!
- Dan: What?
- Yellowbeard: You're either born a pirate or not! It's in the blood Dan, and it's not in your blood or you'd have betrayed me long ago!
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard
Martin Hewitt - Dan

“- Brian Cohen: No, no. Please, please please listen. I've got one or two things to say.
- The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
- Brian Cohen: Look, you've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves! You're all individuals!”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Brian Cohen

“- Gilbert: Where did you hide the treasure, exactly?
- Yellowbeard: You won't catch me with those trick questions.”
Marty Feldman - Gilbert
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard

“- Commander Clement: Twenty years ago today you were sentenced to jail.
- Yellowbeard: Yes, and now I'm due to released.
- Commander Clement: Yes. Or rather, no. You see, twenty years ago, no one was expected to live in jail for twenty years.”
Eric Idle - Commander Clement
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard

“- Dan: Everyone will be following you and if they catch you they'll have the map.
- Yellowbeard: Bugger them! I'll eat it first. Won't be the first head I've eaten.”

Martin Hewitt - Dan
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard

“I'll kill anyone who get's in the way of me killing anyone.”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard

“- Mandy Cohen: What star sign is he?
- Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
- Mandy Cohen: Capricorn? What are they like?
- Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.”
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen
Graham Arthur Chapman - Wise Man #2

“- Yellowbeard: You are a Yellowbeard!
- Dan: What?
- Yellowbeard: Killin' your father as I killed my father before me.
- Dan: Dad, the blood...
- Yellowbeard: That's what I like to hear! You are my son!”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard
Martin Hewitt - Dan