Jackie Mason movie quotes

“It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.”
Jackie Mason

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
Jackie Mason

“- Navin: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!
- Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.
- Navin: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73: Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day!”
Steve Martin - Navin
Jackie Mason - Harry Hartounian

“- Jack Hartounian: You think it's safe to hit a ball in a place like this?
- Ty Webb: Of course, it's a ballroom.”
Jackie Mason - Jack Hartounian
Chevy Chase - Ty Webb

“Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.”
Jackie Mason

“England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex.”
Jackie Mason

“- Chandler Young: What is your background?
- Jack Hartounian: My father was Armenian. My other was half Jewish, half English, half Spanish.
- Chandler Young: That's three halves.
- Jack Hartounian: Oh, she was a big woman.”
Robert Stack - Chandler Young
Jackie Mason - Jack Hartounian

“It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.”
Jackie Mason

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
Jackie Mason

“In God we trust; all others must pay cash.”
Jackie Mason

“Take chances. I'm insured.”

Jackie Mason - Jack Hartounian