Jason Bateman movie quotes

“- Ray: So you've used the door, the building's still intact, people are happy you've arrived, they feel safe now, there's an officer there and he's done a good job, so you might want to tell him he's done a good job.
- John Hancock: What the hell did I have to come for, Ray, if he's done a good job?”

Jason Bateman - Ray
Will Smith - John Hancock

“- Sandy Patterson: Now, I have allotted us each $8 per meal, so it looks like you can get one of the salads or a soup or...
- Diana: I'm gonna take a full slab of the baby backs, and I'm going to take that with mashed taters, hushpuppies, and I'm going get a... I'm going to have sweet tea.
- Sandy Patterson: I asked you to eat less food.”
Jason Bateman - Sandy Patterson
Melissa McCarthy - Diana

“- Cotton McKnight: I'm being told that Average Joe's does not have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match.
- Pepper Brooks: It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em.”
Gary Cole - Cotton McKnight
Jason Bateman - Pepper Brooks

“You're a superhero. Kids should be running up to you, asking for your autograph, people should be cheering you on the streets...”
Jason Bateman - Ray

“Why does everyone think yellow is gender neutral? I never knew a guy with a yellow room.”
Jason Bateman - Mark Loring

- Mary: We broke up decades ago. Long before you were born. He just can't remember.
- Ray: But you can. Right? You knew? That's something you might want to bring up on the first date, Mary. "I don't like to travel. I'm allergic to cats. I'm immortal". Okay? Those are some of the things you might want to give a little heads-up on.

Charlize Theron - Mary
Jason Bateman - Ray

“I get to work before the sun comes up, and I leave long after it's gone down. I haven't had sex in 6 months with someone other than myself. And the only thing in my refrigerator is an old lime. Could be a kiwi, no way to tell.”
Jason Bateman - Nick Hendricks

“- Ray: My basic diagnosis of your fundamental problem is... do you want to hear it?
- John Hancock: No.
- Ray: You're an asshole. I know. I call it like I see it, though. It's not a crime to be an asshole, but it's very counter-productive.”
Jason Bateman - Ray
Will Smith - John Hancock

“- Cotton McKnight: Average Joe's has a tough job, facing the Lumberjacks. These woodsmen probably haven't even smelled a woman in eight months.
- Pepper Brooks: They must masturbate a lot, Cotton.”

Gary Cole - Cotton McKnight
Jason Bateman - Pepper Brooks

“Come on, don't be gay in God's house! Gimme a good slap!”
Jason Bateman - Roger Donahue