Jason Mewes movie quotes

“Silent Bob is an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and shit. The motherfucker's like MacGyver. No, the motherfucker's better than MacGyver.”
Jason Mewes - Jay

“- Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
- Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
- Jay: Aw fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
- Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
- Jay: Dude, not all the time.”
Jason Mewes - Jay
Chris Rock - Rufus

“- Teen #2: Is that a fucking Bible?
- Jay: Hey hey, the Holy fucking Bible, son.”
Ethan Suplee - Teen #2
Jason Mewes - Jay

- Jay: [as they get up to leave] Until then, keep your unit on you.
- Holden McNeil: I'll try.
- Silent Bob: No, no. "Do or do not. There is no try".
- Jay: Knock that shit off, we got a bus to catch! Jedi bitch.
Jason Mewes - Jay
Ben Affleck - Holden McNeil
Kevin Patrick Smith - Silent Bob

“I think I'll be fine in New York. If I could stay here and just get jobs in New York, that would be fine and that's what I'd want to do. I don't want to move.”
Jason Mewes

“I was a metalhead and then I was into the rap and then I was a metalhead again.”
Jason Mewes

“I don't think anyone's ever thought I was a drug dealer.”
Jason Mewes

“- Bethany: You're not with the Fight-to-Lifer's?
- Jay: You mean those fucks with the signs and pictures of dead babies? Shit no. Me and Silent Bob are pro-choice. A woman's body is her own fucking business.”
Linda Fiorentino - Bethany
Jason Mewes - Jay

“You should read your Bible, sirs. You'll find all types of weird shit in there. Like, did you know Jesus was a Jew?”
Jason Mewes - Jay

“You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah. Like, be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien lifeform... and fuck it. And people'd be like, ...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jason Mewes - Jay

“- Jay: How come I don't remember anyone with the name of Amy?
- Silent Bob: Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?”
Jason Mewes - Jay
Kevin Patrick Smith - Silent Bob

“- TS Quint: What's he doing?
- Jay: Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi last week and ever since then, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. The crazy fuck thinks he can levitate shit with his thoughts.”

Jeremy London - TS Quint
Jason Mewes - Jay

“- Bethany: I don't mean to sound ungrateful... but what are you doing hanging around?
- Jay: We're here to pick up chicks.
- Bethany: Excuse me?
- Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?”
Linda Fiorentino - Bethany
Jason Mewes - Jay

“- Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
- Jay: I can't wait to die.”
Chris Rock - Rufus
Jason Mewes - Jay