Jason Sudeikis movie quotes

“- Brad Gurdlinger: Listen, this is a fucked up situation. But, I might have a win-win situation for both of us.
- David Clark: Great.
- Brad Gurdlinger: I have a smidge of very choice marijuana down in Mexico, and I need it here by Sunday night, but my regular currier is unavailable on the account of the fact he got gunned down. Anyway, that's...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ed Helms - Brad Gurdlinger
Jason Sudeikis - David Clark

“Can we please go home, dry each other off with friction?”
Jason Sudeikis - Jake

“When you start sleeping with someone you risk losing them.”
Jason Sudeikis - Jake

“- Lainey: First of all, you are not the Mark Zuckerberg of vaginas.
- Jake: I don't know who that is.”
Alison Brie - Lainey
Jason Sudeikis - Jake

“- David Clark: Hey Brad, what the fuck!
- Brad Gurdlinger: Uh oh, something wrong?
- David Clark: Yeah, something's wrong. Something's very, very wrong. You said a smidge of pot, and this is not a smidge.
- Brad Gurdlinger: Smidge and half, no?
- David Clark: Look, you got me moving enough weed to kill Willie fucking Nelson, man.”
Jason Sudeikis - David Clark
Ed Helms - Brad Gurdlinger

“- Casey Mathis: These assholes are trying to steal my iPhone!
- David Clark: Wait, you have an iPhone? Aren't you homeless?
- Casey Mathis: So? Fuck you, dude!”
Emma Roberts - Casey Mathis
Jason Sudeikis - David Clark

“- Nick Hendricks: Where were you during the murder?
- Kurt Buckman: I was making love. I was making love to a woman. You know... murdering some ass.”
Jason Bateman - Nick Hendricks
Jason Sudeikis - Kurt Buckman

“- David Clark: Who the fuck is Pablo Chacon?
- Brad Gurdlinger: I am. Yo soy Pablo Chacon. You don't get a lot of respect from the Mexicans when your name is Brad Gurdlinger, right?”
Jason Sudeikis - David Clark
Ed Helms - Brad Gurdlinger

“- David Clark: This goddamn Kenny kid got his fucking nuts bit by a giant-ass spider.
- Brad Gurdlinger: That is amazing. Will you let me know if he develops any superpowers?”
Jason Sudeikis - David Clark
Ed Helms - Brad Gurdlinger

“- David Clark: What the fuck is that?
- Brad Gurdlinger: Oh, my orca. Yeah, I bought an orca. I make a lot of money.
- David Clark: So you bought a whale?
- Brad Gurdlinger: Well, I don't like sports cars.”
Jason Sudeikis - David Clark
Ed Helms - Brad Gurdlinger

- Kurt Buckman: Are you a businessman?
- Dean 'MF' Jones: Yeah. Motherfucker Jones.
- Dale Arbus: Your first name is... Motherfucker?
- Dean 'MF' Jones: Not "motherfucker". "Motherfuckah". White people say "-er", Negroes say "fuck-ah". You say "er", I say "ah".
Jason Sudeikis - Kurt Buckman
Jamie Foxx - Dean 'MF' Jones
Charlie Day - Dale Arbus

“Technically, I think it's immoral not to kill him.”
Jason Sudeikis - Kurt Buckman

“- Kurt Buckman: Your father told me very clearly that he would rather die than save money and hurt people.
- Bobby Pellitt: Well guess what, looks like we're right on schedule then.”
Jason Sudeikis - Kurt Buckman
Colin Farrell - Bobby Pellit