Jay Leno movie quotes

“It turns out there's life on other planets. Boy, this is really going to change the Miss Universe contest, you know what I mean?”
Jay Leno - Jay Leno

“- Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: You know your problem? You need a wife.
- Detective Tony Costas: A wife? Hey, I just think we ought to live together for a while first.”
Pat Morita - Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo
Jay Leno - Detective Tony Costas

- Fast Tony: You, ma'am! You look like a big "fat" hairy beast. How you'd like to lost a ton or two?
- Female Ox: Uh! Would I ever!
- Male Ox: Don't listen to him, Vera. You're already thin as a twig.
- Fast Tony: And I also have the perfect cure for your eyesight, my blind friend.

Jay Leno - Fast Tony
Mindy Sterling - Female Ox
Tom Fahn - Male Ox

“The five day outlook is calling for intense flooding followed by... the end of the world!”
Jay Leno - Fast Tony

- Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: Isn't someone going to hear that and call the police?
- Detective Tony Costas: No, you see in this neighborhood they don't call the police, they just yell "Turn that shit off".

Pat Morita - Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo
Jay Leno - Detective Tony Costas