Jennifer Coolidge movie quotes

“- Fiona: I am very, very, very, very upset about this.
- Brianna: You don't look upset.
- Fiona: Oh, it's the Botox. I can't show emotion for another hour and a half.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Fiona
Madeline Zima - Brianna

“I've made a career of taking roles that other actresses didn't want.”
Jennifer Coolidge

“I once had sex on a bus and I was driving it. Oh...... were those kids late to school.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Sophie Kachinsky

“- Janine: Oh, my God. I want that so bad. A husband that I can kiss and love and give juice too.
- Michael Newman: You've already cheated on three different husbands with their brothers. I think you've given enough juice to everybody. Love juice.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Janine
Adam Sandler - Michael Newman

“- Stifler's Mom: You've got to know I'm over you, Finchy.
- Paul Finch: Well, as they say, we'll always have Paris.
- Stifler's Mom: And the pool table.
- Paul Finch: And the car.
- Stifler's Mom: And the two-room suite I have upstairs...
- Paul Finch: Oh, man. Let's go!”
Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom
Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch

“- Roz Fockyerdoder: It's a vaginal thermometer. It's been in our family for generations.
- Linda Jones: It lets you know when your ovulating.
- Roz Fockyerdoder: And if you wanna keep it a lucky one, don't ever wash it.”

Jennifer Coolidge - Roz Fockyerdoder
Meera Simhan - Linda Jones

“- Congresswoman Libby Hauser: You have the full support of the Sunshine State!
- Paulette: Yay for Ohio!”
Dana Ivey - Congresswoman Libby Hauser
Jennifer Coolidge - Paulette

“The bend and snap! I did that last night naked. I broke a window though.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Paulette

“I read a script and I know immediately whether that role is for me or not.”
Jennifer Coolidge

“I always find the most depressing stuff most interesting.”
Jennifer Coolidge

People say "oh but he's so much older than you" and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking.

Jennifer Coolidge - Sherri Ann Cabot

“- Fiona: The lawn's looking a little brown.
- Sam: You know we're supposed to be conserving water! We're in the middle of a drought!
- Fiona: Droughts are for poor people, you think J-Lo has a brown lawn? People who use extra water have extra class.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Fiona
Hilary Duff - Sam

“You look like the Fourth of July! Makes me want a hot dog real bad!”
Jennifer Coolidge - Paulette

“- Paulette: Is she as pretty as you?
- Elle Woods: She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but she's not completely unfortunate looking.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Paulette
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods

- Fiona: Where are your skates? They're part of the uniform.
- Rhonda: Fiona, if I wanted to look like a clown I'd join the circus.
- Fiona: If you were part of my circus I'd have you wiping the elephant butts with a "wet one”.
Jennifer Coolidge - Fiona
Regina King - Rhonda

“Thank God for the model trains. If they didn't have the model trains they wouldn't have gotten the idea for the big trains.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Amber Cole

“- Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
- Finch: Single malt?
- Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.”

Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom

“- Aunt Fanny: Fighting never solved anything.
- Bigweld: Quitting's not so productive, either.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Aunt Fanny
Mel Brooks - Bigweld

“- Mrs. Kendoo: Hello William.
- William Williams: Hi Mrs.Kendoo, is Sally there?
- Mrs. Kendoo: No she's in New York with agents.
- William Williams: Tell her I joined the army, I miss her and I got her face tattooed on my arm.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Mrs. Kendoo
Chris Klein - William Williams

“We work together very well. It's almost as like we have one brain that we share between us.”

Jennifer Coolidge - Amber Cole

“- Paul Finch: So, ah, would you object if I said you were quite striking?
- Stifler's Mom: Mister Finch, are you trying to seduce me?
- Paul Finch: Yes ma'am, I am.”
Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch
Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom