Joe Mantegna movie quotes

“- Norby: Eddie, what else did Mary's little lamb do?
- Eddie: Didn't he put, uh, Humpty Dumpty back together again?
- Veeko: That was Nat King Cole.
- Eddie: Nat King Cole stuck his finger in the pie and yanked out the bird.”
Joe Pantoliano - Norby
Joe Mantegna - Eddie
Brian Haley - Veeko

“You can't bluff someone who's not paying attention.”
Joe Mantegna - Mike

“I read a book once which said this: If you're fired from your job, when you're going home, take something. A pencil... Something to assert yourself. Take a memento. Take something from life.”
Joe Mantegna - Mike

“- Ada Kurtzman: Your father says you're not going out dressed that way.
- Ben Kurtzman: And I'm not changing.
- Ada Kurtzman: He says he's not changing.
- Nate Kurtzman: I wanna talk to Hitler.
- Ada Kurtzman: He has a swastika on his arm and big black boots! He's wearing big black boots! He came down the stairs in them with swastikas all...” (continue)(continue reading)

Bebe Neuwirth - Ada Kurtzman
Ben Foster - Ben Kurtzman
Joe Mantegna - Nate Kurtzman

“- Robert Garrett: Miss Carlson, you stated that you handcuffed Andrew Marsh before having sex with him the night of his death.
- Rebecca Carlson: It wasn't before. It was during.”
Joe Mantegna - Robert Garrett
Madonna - Rebecca Carlson

“There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.”
Joe Mantegna - Joe

“The world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment pally. One of these days everybody's gonna wake up with a heck of a hangover, down two aspirin and a glass of tomato juice and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about.”

Joe Mantegna - Dean Martin

“Tom Dale. Big star. He's in New York filming an adaptation of a sequel of a remake.”
Joe Mantegna - Tony Gardella

“- Grace: You're a little tense, don't you think?
- Al: Who wouldn't be tense? This music could make Will Rogers punch a nun.”

Jamie Lee Curtis - Grace
Joe Mantegna - Al

“He's better at this than I've ever been at anything in my life. He's better at this than you'll ever be, at anything. My son has a gift. He has a gift, and when you acknowledge that, then maybe we will have something to talk about.”

Joe Mantegna - Fred Waitzkin

“- Mike: Did I ever tell you my name? My name is Mike.
- Margaret Ford: Glad to meet you.
- Mike: Well, I'm glad to meet you, too.
- Margaret Ford: I have a proposition for you.
- Mike: And what's your name?”
Joe Mantegna - Mike
Lindsay Crouse - Margaret Ford

“- Al: Hey, Den, can you smell me from over there?
- Dennis: We can always smell you, Al.
- Al: Fuckin' fish. No wonder this cat wants to blow me.”

Joe Mantegna - Al
Kevin Bacon - Dennis

“- Mike: What'd you do, win again?
- George: That's right. If you wanna win the hand, you've gotta stay in 'til the end.”
Joe Mantegna - Mike
Ricky Jay - George

“If you want to be a shoplifter, go to J.C. Penney.”
Joe Mantegna - Eddie

“Marriages don't work when one partner is happy and the other is miserable. Marriage is about both people being equally miserable.”
Joe Mantegna - Andy

“- Chief Wiggum: Uh sorry, sorry, no dumping in the lake!
- Fat Tony: Fine, I will put my yard trimmings in a car compactor.
- Lou: Uh, Chief, I think there was a dead body in there.
- Chief Wiggum: I thought that too, until he said yard trimmings. You gotta learn to listen, Lou.”

Hank Azaria - Chief Wiggum
Joe Mantegna - Fat Tony
Hank Azaria - Lou

“Nothing shocks these New York cab drivers!”
Joe Mantegna - Joe

“- Margaret Ford: You took my money.
- Mike: How naughty of me.”
Lindsay Crouse - Margaret Ford
Joe Mantegna - Mike

- Al: Come on, what do I gotta do?
- Patricia: You could crawl through broken glass on your hands and knees with a sign on your back that says "asshole". That might get you in the door.

Joe Mantegna - Al
Chloe Webb - Patricia

“Poor man's truth serum: caffeine and sugar.”
Joe Mantegna - Det. Sgt. Denillo

“She is a beautiful woman. But when this trial is over, you will see her no differently than a gun, or a knife, or any other instrument used as a weapon. She's a killer, and the worst kind. A killer who disguised herself as a loving partner!”

Joe Mantegna - Robert Garrett

“- Bobby Gold: You mad at me?
- Tim Sullivan: I'm mad at you! I'm not gonna invite you to my birthday party! You dumb kike. Go get your holster fixed.”
Joe Mantegna - Bobby Gold
William H. Macy - Tim Sullivan

- Harry Flugleman: Do you know what "nada" means?
- Dusty Bottoms: Isn't that a light chicken gravy?
Joe Mantegna - Harry Flugleman
Chevy Chase - Dusty Bottoms

“What I'm talking about comes down to a more basic philosophial principle: Don't trust nobody.”
Joe Mantegna - Mike

“- Bruce Pandolfini: Your son creates like Fischer. He sees like him, inside.
- Fred: You can tell this by watching him play some drunks in the park?
- Bruce Pandolfini: Yes. You want to know what I want. I'll tell you what I want. I want back what Bobby Fischer took with him when he disappeared.”

Ben Kingsley - Bruce Pandolfini
Joe Mantegna - Fred Waitzkin