J. K. Simmons movie quotes

“Dear, we agreed to put on a wedding, not go into bankruptcy... Caviar? Who are we inviting, the czar? Get some cheese and crackers... some of those little cocktail weenies...”

J. K. Simmons - J. Jonah Jameson

“Teen smoking, our bread and butter, is falling like a shit from heaven! We don't sell Tic Tacs for Christ's sake. We sell cigarettes. And they're cool and available and addictive. The job is almost done for us!”
J. K. Simmons - BR

“- Mac MacGuff: Where you been?
- Juno MacGuff: Oh, just out dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.”
J. K. Simmons - Mac MacGuff
Ellen Page - Juno MacGuff

“- CIA Officer: He shot Cox.
- CIA Superior: Good. Great! Is he dead?
- CIA Officer: No, sir. He's in a coma.
[CIA Superior grimaces]
- CIA Officer: They don't think he's gonna make it. They don't... they don't think, they're pretty sure he has no brain function.
- CIA Superior: Okay. Okay. If he wakes up we'll worry about it then. Jesus, what a...” (continue)(continue reading)
David Rasche - CIA Officer
J. K. Simmons - CIA Superior

“- Frank Perry: Well, since you're throwing bullets, I'm not even gonna mention the fact that you're an hour late, and I have been standing here trying to figure out who my starting pitcher would be if you didn't show up.
- Billy Chapel: Have I ever not showed? In the 19 years, have I ever not showed?
- Frank Perry: Well, that's true of everyone...” (continue)(continue reading)
J. K. Simmons - Frank Perry
Kevin Costner - Billy Chapel

“- Juno MacGuff: I'm not ready to be a mom.
- Mac MacGuff: Damn skippy you're not! You don't even remember to give Liberty Bell her breathing meds.
- Juno MacGuff: God, that was one time! And she did not die, if you recall.”
Ellen Page - Juno MacGuff
J. K. Simmons - Mac MacGuff

“If we can get a picture of Julia Roberts in a thong, we can certainly get a picture of this weirdo.”

J. K. Simmons - J. Jonah Jameson

“- Juno MacGuff: I just wonder if like, two people can ever stay together for good.
- Mac MacGuff: You mean like couples?
- Juno MacGuff: Yeah, like people in love.”
Ellen Page - Juno MacGuff
J. K. Simmons - Mac MacGuff

“He can cross the country in thirty days but can't find his horse backstage!”

J. K. Simmons - Buffalo Bill Cody

“- CIA Officer: We'll... interface with the FBI on this dead body.
- CIA Superior: No, no. God no. We don't need those idiots fucking everything up. Burn the body. Get rid of it.
- CIA Officer: Ok.”
David Rasche - CIA Officer
J. K. Simmons - CIA Superior

“- Juno MacGuff: That's not what it's about. I just need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.
- Mac MacGuff: Well, it's not easy, that's for sure. Now, I may not have the best track record in the world, but I have been with your stepmother for 10 years now and I'm proud to say that we're very happy.”
Ellen Page - Juno MacGuff
J. K. Simmons - Mac MacGuff

“- Garth Pancake: The Freedom Riders were a group of concerned liberals from up north, all working together, just like we are here. Involved citizens who came down here so that local black folk could have their civil liberties. So that people like you could have the vote.
- Gawain MacSam: You know what, man? I don't vote. So fuck you.”
J. K. Simmons - Garth Pancake
Marlon Wayans - Gawain MacSam

“- Witherspoon: We know that certain gang elements in this prison want you dead.
- Declan Mulqueen: An entire government wants me dead, mister, yet here I am.”
J. K. Simmons - Witherspoon
Richard Tiffany Gere - Declan Mulqueen