Larry Miller movie quotes

“Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, no ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas.”

Larry Miller - Walter Stratford

“Manufacturers are making products kosher to get in on that market, plus more people are looking for kosher.”
Larry Miller

“What are the two house rules? Number One: no dating till you graduate. Number Two: no dating till you graduate.”

Larry Miller - Walter Stratford

“- Herman Katzenback: Now you listen to me, Junior, don't you think that I don't know what's going on, because I do know, and now you know that I know.
- Walt Whalen, Jr.: Listen, I don't know what you know that I know, but I do know that you don't know what you think you know.
- Herman Katzenback: Oh no?
- Walt Whalen, Jr.: No.”
Larry Miller - Herman Katzenback
Jeffrey Tambor - Walt Whalen, Jr.

“You know, the guy's supposed to be some kind of evil genius, and best he can come up with is a ventriloquist act. What's next, evil juggling?”
Larry Miller - XR

“Women say they have sexual thoughts too. They have no idea.”
Larry Miller

“If they knew what we were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping us.”

Larry Miller

“- Det. Sgt. Halsey: That's your husband.
- Jane Blue: I know.
- Det. Sgt. Halsey: Does he know how to play the trumpet?
- Jane Blue: Apparently.”

Larry Miller - Halsey
Kathleen Turner - Jane Blue

“- Dr. Suzanne Carter: We're consenting adults.
- Dean Elias: So were Bonnie and Clyde.”
Harley Jane Kozak - Dr. Suzanne Carter
Larry Miller - Dean Phillip Elias

“I'll gouge your right eye out with my thumb, I shit you not, you little freak! Now, will you get down here? I'm gonna punch you in the eye till it turns to jelly! I'll stab you with forks till you bleed, how bout that?”

Larry Miller - Max Berman

“- Coach Ed Gennero: Dean Elias, for someone who hates football you sure spend alot of time watching the sport.
- Dean Phillip Elias: Eternal vigilance is the price of integrity, Coach Gennaro.”
Héctor Elizondo - Coach Ed Gennero
Larry Miller - Dean Phillip Elias

“I'm going to kill you. And I don't mean that as a euphemism, I am going to literally kill you. I'm going to strangle you and choke off your air supply until you pass away.”
Larry Miller - Dean Richmond

“- Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: You match the description of the intended victim: a man with a baby stroller.
- Det. Sgt. Halsey: And we got us a bag lady that says she saw the man enter this hotel.
- Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: And the desk clerk says that man was you.
- Jeff Blue: Well, that certainly narrows it down, doesn't it?”
Obba Babatundé - Sawyer
Larry Miller - Halsey
Dennis Quaid - Jeff Blue

“- Buzz Lightyear: I must pause for a moment of silence in honor of my ship.
- XR: Oh, please, Buzz! It was just a hunk of metal!
- Mira Nova: OK, and you are...?
- XR: In serious need of some personal space.”
Tim Allen - Buzz Lightyear
Larry Miller - XR
Nicole Sullivan - Mira Nova

“- Adrian Beltz: Look who's here! Welcome! Konichiwa! Konichiwa! Just trying to rival that celebrated Japanese sense of employee relations you people are born with or so it seems.
- Zukaki: I think I'm gonna hate this guy.
- Kim: Uh, Mr. Zukaki says he is very impressed with your knowledge of his culture.
- Zukaki: Coward.”

Larry Miller - Adrian Beltz
Richard Narita - Zukaki
Denice Kumagai - Kim

There's a saying in Missouri, "if you don't like the weather just wait five minutes". In Blaine, with hard work, I think we can get that down to three or four minutes.
Larry Miller - Glenn Welsch - Mayor

“- IRS Insp. Frank Hall: I know I may be a little new at this but I don't think we shoot people for cheating on their taxes.
- IRS Insp. Derek Lester: Oh. You're right. You are new at this.”
Miguel A. Núñez Jr. - IRS Insp. Frank Hall
Larry Miller - IRS Insp. Derek Lester

“- Principal Elliot T. Jindraike: You may be under the impression that I encourage horseplay and malarkey, you're wrong, I don't encourage it, I excourage it.
- Max Keeble: Excourage?
- Principal Elliot T. Jindraike: It means the opposite of encourage, look it up.”
Larry Miller - Principal Elliot T. Jindraike
Alex D. Linz - Max Keeble

“You're 18, you don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want 'til you're 45, and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it.”

Larry Miller - Walter Stratford

“- Walter Stratford: Do you know what happens at proms?
- Bianca Stratford: Yes. We'll dance, we'll kiss, we'll come home. It's not quite the crisis situation you imagine.
- Walter Stratford: Kissing? That's what you think happens? I've got news for you. Kissing isn't what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta all day long.”

Larry Miller - Walter Stratford
Larisa Oleynik - Bianca Stratford

- Booster: The Space Ranger Manual says "No Ranger is allowed to go on a mission without a partner." I think it's Section B, sub-section Delta.
- Buzz Lightyear: Actually, it's sub-section Gamma.
- XR: He's right, big guy, sub-section Delta's the dress code. Incidentally, why can't we have nose rings?
- Buzz Lightyear: Because nose rings are for... (continue)(continue reading)
Stephen Furst - Booster
Tim Allen - Buzz Lightyear
Larry Miller - XR

“You know fathers don't like to admit it when their daughters are capable of running their own lives. It means we've become spectators.”
Larry Miller - Walter Stratford

“- Sherman Klump: Buddy Love, I am sick and tired, of your S-H...
- Dean Richmond: I.
- Sherman Klump: Thank you. T-E!
- Buddy Love: Oh, ho-ho-ho. My shite?”
Eddie Murphy - Sherman Klump
Larry Miller - Dean Richmond
Eddie Murphy - Buddy Love

“- Chastity: Mr. Stratford, it's just a party!
- Walter Stratford: And hell is just a sauna.”
Gabrielle Union - Chastity
Larry Miller - Walter Stratford

“- Jeff Blue: It was a domestic disturbance.
- Lt. Theodore 'Ted' Sawyer: A domestic disturbance?
- Jeff Blue: Yeah like on the Honeymooners. You remember how Ralph used to fight with Alice.
- Det. Sgt. Halsey: I don't recollect Ralph using semi-automatic weapons.”
Dennis Quaid - Jeff Blue
Obba Babatundé - Sawyer
Larry Miller - Halsey