Lou Costello movie quotes

“A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.”

Lou Costello - Costello

“A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.”
Lou Costello

“- Buzz Kurtis: This is even better than you getting socked. You're dead!
- Abercrombie: If I'm dead, then... then why am I so hungry?”
Bud Abbott - Buzz Kurtis
Lou Costello - Abercrombie

“That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.”
Lou Costello

“What the use of having ignorance if you can't show it?”
Lou Costello

Don't you remember? I said I was gonna take you to the Palladium a long time ago, and you said "See me next year". Well, tonight the year is up.

Lou Costello - Abercrombie

“- Herbie Brown: I'm just talking to myself.
- Slicker Smith: Well, don't talk so loud!
- Herbie Brown: I've got hear what I have to say.”

Lou Costello - Herbie Brown
Bud Abbott - Slicker Smith

“- Gregory LeMaise: You're a great fellow. You made me forget my troubles.
- Abercrombie: You've drowned mine!”

Carleton G. Young - Gregory LeMaise
Lou Costello - Abercrombie

“- Abercrombie: A face like mine is hard to forget.
- Buzz Kurtis: How do you know?
- Abercrombie: I've been trying for years!”
Lou Costello - Abercrombie
Bud Abbott - Buzz Kurtis

“- Herbie Brown: She'll have to wait for me!
- Slicker Smith: Why should she wait for you?
- Herbie Brown: I was nice enough to wait for her!”

Lou Costello - Herbie Brown
Bud Abbott - Slicker Smith

“- Grover Mockridge: Go answer the door. It might be Warner.
- Wilbur Hoolihan: It won't do no good. We're all signed up with Universal.”
Bud Abbott - Grover Mockridge
Lou Costello - Wilbur Hoolihan

“- Buzz Kurtis: Every time you open your mouth, what happens?
- Abercrombie: I eat.”
Bud Abbott - Buzz Kurtis
Lou Costello - Abercrombie

“- Smokey Adams: Did you ever go to school, stupid?
- Pomeroy Watson: Yeah, and I come out the same way.”
Bud Abbott - Smokey Adams
Lou Costello - Pomeroy Watson

- "Wishy": If I'm the one that gets killed, get twenty-five beautiful girls to walk around me.
- "Doc": Why?
- "Wishy": If I don't get up, then you know I'm dead.
Lou Costello - "Wishy"
Bud Abbott - "Doc"

- "Doc": Did you ever go to school, stupid?
- "Wishy": Yeah and I came out the same way.
Bud Abbott - "Doc"
Lou Costello - "Wishy"

“- Abbott: Put that out. There's no smoking in here.
- Costello: What makes you think I'm smoking?
- Abbott: You've got a cigar in your mouth!
- Costello: I've got shoes on... it doesn't mean I'm walking.”
Bud Abbott - Abbott
Lou Costello - Costello

“- Gregory LeMaise: You've got troubles too?
- Abercrombie: Yes, sir.
- Gregory LeMaise: But I've got real troubles. I killed a man!
- Abercrombie: [reacting to the camera] A man killed me. That's why I'm wearing this fake beard.”
Carleton G. Young - Gregory LeMaise
Lou Costello - Abercrombie

“From now on, keep one eye on that candle, another eye on that one, and with the other eye watch me!”

Lou Costello - Ferdinand Jones

“- Camille Brewster: You sure you never heard of me? Camille Brewster?
- Ferdinand Jones: No.
- Camille Brewster: You must have a cheap radio.”
Joan Davis - Camille Brewster
Lou Costello - Ferdinand Jones

“I'll go up there into that temple. I'll face danger. I don't care if the boogeyman's in there.”

Lou Costello - Wellington Pflug