Martin Hayter Short movie quotes

“I don't know you. I don't know your work. But I think you are a genius. And I am never wrong about that.”

Martin Hayter Short - Neil Sussman

“- Woman on Plane: Would you please stop hitting the back of my chair? I am trying to sleep!
- Clifford Daniels: I'm sorry, Miss Nice Older Person, but I don't know what you're talking about. Perhaps you were just having a nightmare about your early days in the circus.”

Brandis Kemp - Woman on Plane
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“- Jack Putter: Did you hear that?
- Waiting Room Patient: Hear what?
- Jack Putter: You didn't hear that then?
- Waiting Room Patient: No, I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything. Are you feeling all right?
- Jack Putter: Would I be in a doctor's office if I was feeling all right?”

Martin Hayter Short - Jack Putter
Andrea Martin - Waiting Room Patient

“- Michael Cromwell: You sound like an idiot.
- Richard Kempster: I'm a parent! Therefore, I'm an idiot! I have spent every day for the last 12 years worrying about my kids. About their safety, about their happiness, about their crooked teeth.”

Tim Allen - Michael Cromwell
Martin Hayter Short - Richard Kempster

“- Ned Nederlander: Tell us we will die like dogs.
- El Guapo: You will die like dogs!
- Dusty Bottoms: No, we will not die like dogs, we will fight like lions!”

Martin Hayter Short - Ned Nederlander
Alfonso Arau - El Guapo
Chevy Chase - Dusty Bottoms

“You wouldn't lie to me, would you Uncle Martin? 'Cause if you did I'd be so angry I don't know what I'd do.”
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“I am trained in martial arts. Judo, aikido, karate. The first thing they teach you is self-control. If someone calls you a jerk, you don't hit them. You just walk away.”
Martin Hayter Short - Eugene Proctor

“Do little girls like caviar?”
Martin Hayter Short - Ned Perry

“- Hubie: What do you call a flower before it opens?
- Rocko: A bud.
- Hubie: I love it when you call me bud!”
Martin Hayter Short - Hubie
Jim Belushi - Rocko

“- Bartender: We don't have no beer, just tequila.
- Ned Nederlander: What's tequila?
- Bartender: ...It's like beer...
- Dusty Bottoms: Is it fattening?
- Bartender: ...Fat-ten-ing?”
Martin Hayter Short - Ned Nederlander
Chevy Chase - Dusty Bottoms

“- Parker Davis: What do you want to be when you grow up, Clifford?
- Clifford Daniels: A dinosaur!”
G.D. Spradlin - Parker Davis
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels

“- Martin Daniels: I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have? You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents!
- Clifford Daniels: Don't send me back to my parents, they hate me!
- Martin Daniels: Not as much as I do!”
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels