Michael McKean movie quotes

“- State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
- Del Griffith: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
- State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
- Del Griffith: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with...” (continue)(continue reading)
Michael McKean - State Trooper
John Candy - Del Griffith

“No crime is complete without the cover-up.”
Michael McKean - Chuck McGill

“Confidence is good. Facts on your side, better.”
Michael McKean - Chuck McGill

“- Johnny 5: Am not human, but am a life-form, have soul. But him me killed to try.
- Fred Ritter: Hey wait a minute J5, what do you think you're gonna do?
- Johnny 5: Pursue! Capture! Incarcerate!”
Tim Blaney - Johnny 5
Michael McKean - Fred Ritter

“- Wadsworth: And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington D.C.
- Mr. Green: Is that what we ate?”
Tim Curry - Wadsworth
Michael McKean - Mr. Green

“- David St. Hubbins: What's that on your finger?
- Nigel Tufnel: It's my gum.
- David St. Hubbins: What are you doing with it on your finger?
- Nigel Tufnel: I might need it later.
- David St. Hubbins: Put it on the table, that's terrible.
- Nigel Tufnel: No, I might forget it on the table.”
Michael McKean - David St. Hubbins
Christopher Guest - Nigel Tufnel

“- Miss Banks: That was Mrs. Tingle. She's sick with the flu. She sounded really bad.
- Principal Potter: She hasn't been sick since - in fact, I don't think she's ever been sick.
- Miss Banks: Do you think it's serious?
- Principal Potter: God, I hope so.”
Molly Ringwald - Miss Banks
Michael McKean - Principal Potter

- Scott Donlan: Where are you from, like Nor... Norland? Norway?
- Hotel Manager: Uh, I'm Irish-German.
- Stefan Vanderhoof: Like Robert Duvall in "The Godfather".
- Scott Donlan: Bratwurst and shillelaghs... paging Dr. Freud.
John Michael Higgins - Scott Donlan
Ed Begley Jr. - Hotel Manager
Michael McKean - Stefan Vanderhoof

- Nick Chapman: What is it?
- Emmet Sumner: It's this stupid movie. It's called "Coffins from Hell".
- Nick Chapman: What is it about?
- Emmet Sumner: Coffins from hell.
Kevin Bacon - Nick Chapman
Michael McKean - Emmet Sumner

“Some people stay in the academic world just to avoid becoming self-aware.”
Michael McKean

“I write with everybody.”
Michael McKean

“Even when there are banalities, they're usually kind of benign banalities.”
Michael McKean

“I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn't believe anything.”
Michael McKean - David St. Hubbins

“- Stefan Vanderhoof: They had the same prance, the same rhythm, it was like they were two members of the same body.
- Scott Donlan: I knew a guy who had two members on the same body, dated him for about a half hour, got so exhausted. I'm sorry, go on, you were telling a story?”

Michael McKean - Stefan Vanderhoof
John Michael Higgins - Scott Donlan

“- Fred Ritter: I thought you said this thing mis-functioned on you.
- Ben Jahveri: Oh, that is a falsity. What actually happened was we were working on him one day and suddenly he is struck by lightning. And, from this moment on, he's having a mind of his own. So, the government tried to destroy him so he ran away. So, now he's living with my...” (continue)(continue reading)

Michael McKean - Fred Ritter
Fisher Stevens - Ben Jahveri

“- Colonel Mustard: Why are you screaming?
- Mr. Green: Because I'm frightened!
- Colonel Mustard: Of what?
- Mr. Green: Screaming!”
Martin Mull - Colonel Mustard
Michael McKean - Mr. Green

“- Mrs. Tingle: You've been sober, how long is it now?
- Principal Potter: Four years.
- Mrs. Tingle: There! I knew it was this week. Me and dates, you know, that's the curse of being a history teacher. Well congratulations, that's quite an accomplishment. Just think, not one sip of alcohol in over four years, that's almost... unbelievable.”
Helen Mirren - Mrs. Tingle
Michael McKean - Principal Potter

“- Johnny 5: Fred wants to sell me?'!
- Fred Ritter: Oh, J-5, c'mon, it's just a figure of speech.
- Johnny 5: Am not property, Frederick! One whose person is under control of another as master, is a slave!
- Woman at building: That's all we need: A robot who's into equal rights.”
Tim Blaney - Johnny 5
Michael McKean - Fred Ritter

- Johnny 5: Frederick, I have an important question. Why do humans not like me, call me "craphead"?
- Fred Ritter: They like you. They like you. Craphead is a compliment.
- Johnny 5: Oh...
Tim Blaney - Johnny 5
Michael McKean - Fred Ritter

“- Fred Ritter: You're not in top form, and your backup battery is all used up!
- Johnny 5: I'm okay-kay, just a few biddly-biddly Bugs Bunny to work out in out in! Perfectly functionality, functionality!
- Fred Ritter: Oh yeah sure, listen to yourself, you can't even talk straight!
- Johnny 5: Derf, a life-form's gotta do what a life-form's...” (continue)(continue reading)
Michael McKean - Fred Ritter
Tim Blaney - Johnny 5

“- David St. Hubbins: It's such a fine line between stupid, and uh...
- Nigel Tufnel: Clever.
- David St. Hubbins: Yeah, and clever.”
Michael McKean - David St. Hubbins
Christopher Guest - Nigel Tufnel

“- Principal Potter: I was thinking...
- Mrs. Tingle: No, don't do that, Mr. Potter. We still prefer that bristling wind effect you have on us.”
Michael McKean - Principal Potter
Helen Mirren - Mrs. Tingle

“- Jerry Palter: We don't want people to reach for their remotes here.
- Mark Shubb: It's public television.
- Alan Barrows: They don't have remotes.”
Michael McKean - Jerry Palter
Harry Shearer - Mark Shubb
Christopher Guest - Alan Barrows

“- Chief of Police: This videotape will show what he did after he left the game.
- Nicky: [on the news videotape which is actually 'Scarface'] Say hello to my little friend! My name is Nicky, and I'm gonna kill all you fuckers for no reason!
- Nicky: That's not me; that's the cock-a-roach Tony Montana!
- Chief of Police: It's difficult to watch,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Michael McKean - Chief of Police
Adam Sandler - Nicky

“- Fred Ritter: Jesus!
- Johnny 5: Christ, lived from 1 to 33 AD.”

Michael McKean - Fred Ritter
Tim Blaney - Johnny 5