Peter Falk movie quotes

“I would never believe a professional prostitute could be so boring.”

Peter Falk - Roger Flan

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: No tip. There's been a death in the family.
- Cabbie: I wish it was you!”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Jonathan Banks - Cabbie

“I want to hear your sinews crack and strain. I want your souls... to enter those microphones and emerge, like ghosts, in the homes of our listeners.”
Peter Falk - Pedro Carmichael

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: What you you doing here?
- Betty DeBoop: I missed my boat.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: It doesn't sail until tomorrow!
- Betty DeBoop: So I missed it a little early.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Eileen Brennan - Betty DeBoop

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: You mean you married your own father?
- Mrs. Montenegro: It's not like you think. It was a simple wedding, done very tastefully.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Madeline Kahn - Mrs. Montenegro

“Being a private eye may not be much, but we do have a code of honor. It's all right to fool around with your partner's wife, but once he's dead it makes it all so dirty.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh

“- Tony Pino: Joe, you need some underwear.
- Joe McGinnis: Maybe later.”
Peter Falk - Tony Pino
Peter Boyle - Joe McGinnis

“- Sheldon Kornpett: Did we hit the little boy on Sixth Avenue?
- Vince Ricardo: No, we missed him by a good foot and a half.”
Alan Arkin - Sheldon Kornpett
Peter Falk - Vince Ricardo

“- Jasper Blubber: The murderer is a Rumanian sailor by the name of Vladimir Tserijemiwtz.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Can you say that again?
- Jasper Blubber: Not without spitting.”
John Houseman - Jasper Blubber
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: Don't call me for three days, and when you do, use your real name. By the way, what is it?
- Mrs. Montenegro: Mary Jones. I swear it, Lou.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Well, change it. It sounds phony.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Madeline Kahn - Mrs. Montenegro

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: Tell me nothing happened. Even if you lie, I'll believe you.
- Betty DeBoop: Nothing happened.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: It sounds worse than before.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Eileen Brennan - Betty DeBoop

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: You can pay, of course.
- Paul DuChard: Ah, monsieur, we, we're not wealthy people. We lost over four million francs betting on the war.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Who'd you have?
- Marcel: We took France - at eight to five.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Fernando Lamas - Paul DuChard

“- The Grandfather: This is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you.
- The Grandson: Has it got any sports in it?
- The Grandfather: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Peter Falk - The Grandfather
Fred Savage - The Grandson

“No point crying over spilt husbands.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: Your husband's dead a little over an hour and you're already dressed in black? How long you had that outfit waiting in the closet?
- Georgia Merkle: You're wrong. I just bought it. There's an all-night widow shop at Fifth and Geary.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Marsha Mason - Georgia Merkle

“- Vince Ricardo: Just go with the flow, Shel, just go with the flow.
- Sheldon Kornpett: What flow? There isn’t any flow.”
Peter Falk - Vince Ricardo
Alan Arkin - Sheldon Kornpett

“- Harry Sears: You dye your hair.
- Molly: So what else is new?
- Harry Sears: Not just the hair on your head. I'm talking about your eyebrows, when you raise your arm - you know, under there - the fuzz over here... And it doesn't have to be vulgar!”
Peter Falk - Harry Sears
Laurene Landon - Molly

“Life is a shitstorm, and when it's raining shit the best umbrella is art.”
Peter Falk - Pedro Carmichael

“- Jasper Blubber: You drink, of course?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: Why not?
- Jasper Blubber: One gin sling!
- Lou Peckinpaugh: I'd rather have a brandy.”
John Houseman - Jasper Blubber
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: You said on the phone last night, sir, that you thought that I could be of some service to you.
- Jezebel Dezire: Just how good is your service?
- Lou Peckinpaugh: I try to satisfy.
- Jezebel Dezire: Do you charge by the hour or by the satisfaction?”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Ann-Margret - Jezebel Dezire

“- Harry Sears: I was thinking of buying a Mercedes but first I wanted to give it a stress test.
- Iris: Stress test?
- Harry Sears: Didn't pass.”

Peter Falk - Harry Sears
Vicki Frederick - Iris

“It burns... it burns like love.”
Peter Falk - Pedro Carmichael

- Harry Sears: You know, there's no harm in appreciating other forms of music. Now this is an Italian tenor. His name is Attilio Belfiore. And the opera is "Pagliacci". And It's beautiful. Now listen to it. It'll make you cry.
- Molly: I'm crying already...

Peter Falk - Harry Sears
Laurene Landon - Molly

“Reason and family got nothin' to do with each other!”
Peter Falk - Rocky Holzcek

“- Lou Peckinpaugh: Are you sure the police didn't follow you here?
- Georgia Merkle: I'm positive. They came with me.
- Lou Peckinpaugh: This is definitely our last date, Georgia.”
Peter Falk - Lou Peckinpaugh
Marsha Mason - Georgia Merkle