Seann William Scott movie quotes

“- John Farley: You have a father?
- Mr. Woodcock: Of course I have a father. I'm not Jesus.”
Seann William Scott - John Farley
Billy Bob Thornton - Jasper Woodcock

“- Wheeler: This may be a stupid question. The Get Out of Jail Free Card: Is that real?
- Beth: That's not a stupid question.
- Danny: It's real in the game of Monopoly.
- Wheeler: But Monopoly is based on true events.”
Seann William Scott - Wheeler
Elizabeth Banks - Beth
Paul Rudd - Danny

“- Jim Levenstein: Amazing.
- Stifler: Yes, the force is strong in that one.”

Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
Seann William Scott - Stifler

- Ronnie: Damn, she got some boobies on her.
- Wheeler: You sure are a fan of the boobies, kid.
- Ronnie: Oh yeah. Sometimes I call myself "The Booby Watcher". I even have my own comic book. "The Adventures of The Booby Watcher".
Bobb'e J. Thompson - Ronnie
Seann William Scott - Wheeler

“- Finch: I am not touching that!
- Jim Levenstein: Put that thing away, Stifler.
- Stifler: What's wrong with you guys? We almost had them. Why can't you guys be team players, huh? I was the one doing all the sacrificing.”

Eddie Kaye Thomas - Finch
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
Seann William Scott - Stifler

“- Chester Greenburg: Look, a unicorn!
[Mr. Pizzacoli looks]
- Mr. Pizzacoli: A unicorn?
- Chester Greenburg: Sorry, I guess it was just a regular horse.”
Seann William Scott - Chester Greenburg
John Toles-Bey - Mr. Pizzacoli

“- Steve Stifler: Your letter made a great impression on Coach Marshall when he read it. Let me just refresh your memory, partner. 'Dear Steve, I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar'.
- Jim Levenstein: I put serious thought into that letter.”
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein

“- Jesse Montgomery III: Wait a second. I just got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
- Chester Greenburg: Maybe you should go sit on the toilet?
- Jesse Montgomery III: No. No. You know what the feeling is? It's love!”
Ashton Kutcher - Jesse Montgomery III
Seann William Scott - Chester Greenburg

“- Sheev: Have you ever been to China?
- Bo Duke: I ate Chinese food once!”
Kevin Heffernan - Sheev
Seann William Scott - Bo Duke

“- Cadence Flaherty: So, can I see the ring?
- Steve Stifler: Nope. Promised to keep it safe. It's not leaving my pocket.
- Cadence Flaherty: Okay, Frodo.”
January Jones - Cadence Flaherty
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler

“When you make a blame sandwich, you gotta be ready to eat it yourself.”

Seann William Scott - John Farley

“- Travis: What if your best friend was gonna die, you wouldn't pick up a gun?
- Beck: No guns.
- Travis: Santa Claus would pick up a gun to save his best friend.”
Seann William Scott - Travis
The Rock - Beck

“- Steve Stifler: Observe the fuckin' Stifmeister, what is his defining characteristic?
- Jim Levenstein: He uses the F-word excessively?
- Steve Stifler: [grins] Thanks man.”
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein

“- Jesse Montgomery III: Who's Johnny Potsmoker?
- Chester Greenburg: Oh, that's my alter ego.
- Jesse Montgomery III: Wait, I thought Johnny Potsmoker was my alter ego.
- Chester Greenburg: No. Yours is Smokey McPot.”
Ashton Kutcher - Jesse Montgomery III
Seann William Scott - Chester Greenburg

“Jim's getting married, isn't he? Holy fuckin' shit! This is major! Do you have the slightest idea of how important this is? We get to have a bachelor party. Yes! We celebrate the death of Jim with a party in his honor. Chicks and boobs. Tits and ass.”
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler

“- Kevin Myers: You're a hero.
- Steve Stifler: Pussy is pussy.”

Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler

“- Jesse Montgomery III: Dude, this is an emergency!
- Chester Greenburg: So is this, dude. It's a break-dancing stripper emergency!”

Ashton Kutcher - Jesse Montgomery III
Seann William Scott - Chester Greenburg

“It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and rock out with my cock out.”
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler

“- Steve Stifler: Dude, how the hell do you even think you're getting married? I've been looking out for your sex life since high school.
- Jim Levenstein: You what?
- Steve Stifler: Oh! Oh! The first tits this guy ever saw were because of me. The first girl he ever hooked up with was at my party at my cottage. That girl is the girl he's marrying.”

Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein

“- Jesse Montgomery III: You know what we should do?
- Chester Greenburg: Eat?
- Jesse Montgomery III: No.
[thinks for a moment]
- Jesse Montgomery III: Eat!”
Ashton Kutcher - Jesse Montgomery III
Seann William Scott - Chester Greenburg

“- Billy Hitchcock: Stay below the speed limit. And, oh: don't pass on the right.
- Carter: Wait a minute. I'm havin' a vision here: you're the next one man.
- Billy Hitchcock: Hey, man. Why'd you say something like that?
- Carter: Because if you don't shut up, I'm gonna fuckin' kill you!”
Seann William Scott - Billy Hitchcock
Kerr Smith - Carter Horton

“- Chester Greenburg: How wasted were we last night?
- Jesse Montgomery III: Well, I touched Christy Boner's hoo-hoo, were on the hook for two hundred thousand dollars to a transsexual stripper, and my car's gone. I'd say we were pretty wasted.”
Seann William Scott - Chester Greenburg
Ashton Kutcher - Jesse Montgomery III

“- Stifler: How many girls did you sleep with this year?
- Jessica: Wouldn't you like to know.
- Stifler: Fuck yeah I would.”
Seann William Scott - Stifler
Natasha Lyonne - Jessica

“My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls.”
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler

“- Steve Stifler: Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house and you're not going to do anything about it?
- Jim Levenstein: What am I supposed to do Stifler, broadcast her over the internet?
- Steve Stifler: Yeah!”
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein