Shirley MacLaine movie quotes

“Raising three children, working full-time and chasing women requires a lot more energy than you have. You know, one of the nicest qualities about you has always been that you recognized your weaknesses. Don't lose that quality now just when you need it the most!”

Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway

“He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it!”
Shirley MacLaine - Ouiser Boudreaux

“The President is coming to Somersville. Will you have the cars and the machine guns ready in about an hour?”
Shirley MacLaine - Tess Carlisle

“I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.”
Shirley MacLaine - Ouiser Boudreaux

“Tell me how it works. When someone that you hate dies, does the hatred that you feel for that person dissipate or do you transfer it to someone else... like me? Would you explain this to me, please? Because I do not understand hatred as a sport. How does one win?”

Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway

“Let me show you the bumblebee, you never would think it could fly. With a body too big, and wings too small, it still finds its way to the sky. A butterfly can flutter by, its wings are small but sound. But the bumblebee, aerodynamically, should never leave the ground. So the scientists say, most every day, its wings can't bear its weight. But...” (continue)(continue reading)
Shirley MacLaine - Mary Kay

“You know what they say. No pain, no gain.”
Shirley MacLaine - Doris Mann

“- Aurora Greenway: What is it that makes you so insistent on shocking and insulting me? I mean, I really hate that way of talking. You must know this. Why do you do it?
- Garrett Breedlove: I'll tell you, Aurora. I don't know what it is about you, but you do bring out the devil in me.”
Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway
Jack Nicholson - Garrett Breedlove

“- Aurora Greenway: Why should I be happy about being a grandmother?
- Flap Horton: Does this mean you won't be knitting the baby any booties?”

Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway
Jeff Daniels - Flap Horton

“- Doris Mann: I was such an awful mother... what if you had a mother like Joan Crawford or Lana Turner?
- Suzanne Vale: These are the options? You, Joan or Lana?”
Shirley MacLaine - Doris Mann
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale

“We all need inspiration, to do amazing things. To fly higher than we ever dreamed of, to discover we have wings.”
Shirley MacLaine - Mary Kay

“- Doris Mann: I have some news.
- Suzanne Vale: What? You had a dream I lost some weight? Endorsed a line of clothing?
- Doris Mann: Don't be fresh, dear.”
Shirley MacLaine - Doris Mann
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale

“I know you don't believe in my dreams, even the one that predicted your kidney stone.”

Shirley MacLaine - Doris Mann

“- Aurora Greenway: Do you have any reaction at all to my telling you I love you?
- Garrett Breedlove: I was just inches from a clean getaway.”
Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway
Jack Nicholson - Garrett Breedlove

“- Doris Mann: How was work today, dear?
- Suzanne Vale: They made me do a drug test.
- Doris Mann: I knew it. I knew you shouldn't do this film.
- Suzanne Vale: You knew I shouldn't do it because it's a bad film, not because they were going to make me do a drug test.”
Shirley MacLaine - Doris Mann
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale

- Doris Mann: You feel sorry half the time for having a monster of a mother like me. Everything about you says "look what you've done to me".
- Suzanne Vale: I never said you were a monster!
- Doris Mann: You don't say it, but you feel it. Somehow, you lay the entire blame for your drug-taking on me.
Shirley MacLaine - Doris Mann
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale

“When you get to the end of a rope, tie a knot.”
Shirley MacLaine - Mary Kay

“Careful there. Those are worth more than you'll ever make in your lifetime. I grew up with it my whole life. You can take it for a couple of minutes.”

Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway

“You're allowed to say one mean thing to me a year. That'll do until you're 10.”

Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway

“- Melanie Horton: I have no chance of being happy here.
- Aurora Greenway: Why not?
- Melanie Horton: You spray this house with happiness repellant!”
Juliette Lewis - Melanie Horton
Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway

“- Suzanne Vale: Mom, this is my roommate, Aretha.
- Doris Mann: Aretha, what an unusual name.
- Aretha: Yes, I think my parents were expecting someone black.”
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale
Shirley MacLaine - Doris Mann
Robin Bartlett - Aretha

“You can have anything in this world, if you want it badly enough, and you're willing to pay the price.”
Shirley MacLaine - Mary Kay

“- Garrett Breedlove: You're just going to have to trust me about this one thing. You need a lot of drinks.
- Aurora Greenway: To break the ice?
- Garrett Breedlove: To kill the bug that you have up your ass.”
Jack Nicholson - Garrett Breedlove
Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway

“- Grace Winterbourne: How did I ever raise such a snob?
- Bill Winterbourne: It's a mystery Mother... let's ask the servants.”
Shirley MacLaine - Grace Winterbourne
Brendan Fraser - Bill Winterbourne

“- Rosie Dunlop: You can love 'em, but you can't live their lives.
- Aurora Greenway: Neither can they. Not properly.”

Marion Ross - Rosie Dunlop
Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway