Stephen Tobolowsky movie quotes

“- Doug Madsen: You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
- Charley: Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training they just told us to play Doom!”
Tim Allen - Doug Madsen
Stephen Tobolowsky - Charley

“- Eric Kluster: It was a time consideration, Mike.
- Mike Wallace: Time? Bullshit! You corporate lackey! Who told you your incompetent little fingers had the requisite skills to edit me?”

Stephen Tobolowsky - Eric Kluster
Christopher Plummer - Mike Wallace

- Eric Kluster: We're doing this with or without you, Lowell. If you like, I can sign another producer to edit your show.
- Lowell Bergman: Since when has the paragon of investigative journalism allowed lawyers to determine the news content on "60 Minutes"?

Stephen Tobolowsky - Eric Kluster
Al Pacino - Lowell Bergman

“We do not accept Jews, because they rejecy Christ! And their control over the International Banking Cartels are at the root of what we call Communism today. We do not accept Papists, because they bow to a Roman dictator! We do not accept Turks, Mongrels, Tartars, Orientals nor Negroes because we are here to protect Anglo-Saxon Democracy, and the...” (continue)(continue reading)
Stephen Tobolowsky - Townley

“I think, in my life, there've been three times I've broken down into tears on a set because I was happy.”
Stephen Tobolowsky

“Belief is a very peculiar thing: we tend to put more store in a belief we like than a fact we hate.”
Stephen Tobolowsky

“I think I started realizing I was losing my hair when I was in Illinois. And it was traumatic. It was not something I had figured on in my life.”
Stephen Tobolowsky

“Each returning serviceman will get his job back when the war is won. And you girls and women, you'll be going home. Back to being housewives and mothers as you promised to do when you came to work with us. Your lives will return to normal.”
Stephen Tobolowsky - French deMille

“Uh, yeah, well, if she calls, just be gentle. You know, like, you're really happy to hear from her. Like you really miss her. Women love that shit.”
Stephen Tobolowsky - Max

“- Roger Henderson: You would find it much more easier to kill me than her.
- Max Applewhite: You're right, I would find it much more easier to kill you than her.”
Brian Benben - Roger Henderson
Stephen Tobolowsky - Max Applewhite

“- Mr. Waters: Hamlet. He's, uh... he's one of the big characters. I mean, he's Hamlet. He's just... bopping around... doesn't know which way's up. I don't think the guy's got a clue.
- Mr. Bates: You mean to say that he is a man...
- Mr. Waters: Yeah.
- Mr. Bates: Who couldn't make up his... mind.”

Chris Heuisler - Mr. Waters
Stephen Tobolowsky - Mr. Bates

“- Ranger Bob: It's your responsibility as campers, and honourable men on this planet, to cut through the connections of these nooses waiting to happen before discarding them in a proper refuse container.
- Sam: What the fuck are you talkin' about?”

Stephen Tobolowsky - Ranger Bob
Adam Horovitz - Sam

“It's Luanne Leseur, the Black Widow. She kills all of her male accomplices. No one has ever been able to finger her.”
Stephen Tobolowsky - Agent Chuck Stupak

“- Max: You know, the one thing I can't figure out is whether these girls are real smart or just real, real lucky?
- Hal: Don't matter. Brains'll only get you so far and luck always runs out.”
Stephen Tobolowsky - Max
Harvey Keitel - Hal