Terry Jones movie quotes

“I don't think people who have children are acting selfishly or unselfishly.”
Terry Jones

“- Maître D': Today we have, for appetizers moules marinières, pâté de foie gras, beluga caviar, eggs Benedictine, tart de poireaux, that's leek tart, frogs' legs amandine, or oeufs de caille Richard Shepherd, c’est à dire, little quails' eggs on a bed of puréed mushroom. It's very delicate, very subtle.
- Mr. Creosote: I'll have the lot.”
John Marwood Cleese - Maître D'
Terry Jones - Mr. Creosote

“- Wise Man #1: We were led by a star.
- Mandy Cohen: Led by a bottle, more like.”
John Marwood Cleese - Wise Man #1
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen

“I don't think you need religion.”
Terry Jones

“The funny thing about history is that we imagine that people didn't laugh in the old days, but of course they did, at stupid things.”
Terry Jones

“I've been very lucky to have been able to act, write and direct and not have to choose just the one thing.”
Terry Jones

“Medieval learning was really advanced.”
Terry Jones

“- Mandy Cohen: Who are you?
- Wise Man #2: We are three wise men.
- Mandy Cohen: What?
- Wise Man #1: We are three wise men.
- Mandy Cohen: What are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.”
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen
Graham Arthur Chapman - Wise Man #2
John Marwood Cleese - Wise Man #1

“- Mandy Cohen: The who?
- The Crowd: The Messiah!
- Mandy Cohen: There's no Messiah in here. There's a mess all right, but no Messiah. Now go away!”
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen

“- Follower: Excuse me, are you a virgin?
- Mandy Cohen: I beg your pardon?
- Follower: If it's not a personal question - are you a virgin?
- Mandy Cohen: If it's not a personal question? How much more personal can you get? Now, piss off!”
Eric Idle - Follower
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen

- Brian Cohen: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
- Mandy Cohen: Stop thinking about sex!
- Brian Cohen: I wasn't!
- Mandy Cohen: You're always on about it. "Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?".
Graham Arthur Chapman - Brian Cohen
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen

“- Maître D': Good evening sir and how are we today?
- Mr. Creosote: Better.
- Maître D': Better?
- Mr. Creosote: Better get a bucket. I'm gonna throw up.”
John Marwood Cleese - Maître D'
Terry Jones - Mr. Creosote

“Sex, sex, sex, that's all these kids talk about!”

Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen

“- Mandy Cohen: What star sign is he?
- Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
- Mandy Cohen: Capricorn? What are they like?
- Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.”
Terry Jones - Mandy Cohen
Graham Arthur Chapman - Wise Man #2