Tommy Lee Jones movie quotes

“- Bob: Nobody said anything about guns! They've got guns, and I think we need guns!
- Cosmo: That's smart thinkin', Bob. That's real smart thinkin'. All the damn money I spread around here, and you want to go play Al Capone with some fuckin' meatball! You fuckin' juvenile!”
Scott Hoxby - Bob
Tommy Lee Jones - Cosmo

“It's a small world after all.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Chip Hazard

“An officer and a gentleman does not strike a lady!”
Tommy Lee Jones - Chip Hazard

“- Al Stump: I put up with your bullshit. I give words, I interpret, I give life to your bullshit. And you give me nothing. Nothing! But grief.
- Ty Cobb: You have never been this close to greatness in your short life son. And you love it.”

Robert Wuhl - Al Stump
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“I always figured when I got older, God would sorta come inta my life somehow. And He didn't. I don't blame Him. If I was Him I would have the same opinion of me that He does.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Ed Tom Bell

“- Kay: We are the best kept secret in the galaxy. We monitor, licence and police all alien activity on the Earth. We're your first, last, and only line of defense. We live in secret, we exist in shadow.
- Jay: And we dress in black.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Kay
Will Smith - Jay

“- Kelly Roark: Please, please. You can't just leave me here.
- Mike Roark: Kelly, you can not be here and I have to.
- Kelly Roark: Why?
- Mike Roark: Because it's my responsibility.
- Kelly Roark: Well, so am I. Please I promise I won't get in the way.”
Gaby Hoffmann - Kelly Roark
Tommy Lee Jones - Mike Roark

“Fifteen hundred years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat. And fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.”

Tommy Lee Jones - Kay

“- Cosmo Renfro: When I die, I wanna come back just like you.
- Samuel Gerard: You mean happy and handsome?”
Joe Pantoliano - Cosmo Renfro
Tommy Lee Jones - Samuel Gerard

“- Kay: They're beautiful, aren't they?
- Jay: What?
- Kay: The stars.
- Jay: Kay, you're frightening your partner...
- Kay: I haven't been looking for a partner. I've been looking for a replacement.
- Jay: I can not do this by myself, all right?”

Tommy Lee Jones - Kay
Will Smith - Jay

“Baseball was one-hundred-percent of my life.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“- Jay: Kid? While you were off licking stamps I saved the world from a Crelon invasion.
- Kay: The Crelons are the Backstreet Boys of the universe. What'd they do, throw snowballs at you?”
Will Smith - Jay
Tommy Lee Jones - Kay

“Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by being all that he can be.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Chip Hazard

“Fortune smiles. Another day of wine and roses. Or, in your case, beer and pizza!”

Tommy Lee Jones - Two-Face

“- Det. Emily Sanders: David wants a slingshot now.
- Hank Deerfield: Hmm.
- Det. Emily Sanders: I guess it could be worse; it could have been a BB gun.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Hank Deerfield
Charlize Theron - Det. Emily Sanders

“- Samuel Gerard: Doctor Nichols, you really want to help him? You really want to be his friend? Then you'll help us bring him in, unharmed.
- Dr. Charles Nichols: Why? So he can go back to prison? If you want help, gentlemen, you've come to the wrong man. Richard is innocent and you'll never find him. He's too smart.”

Tommy Lee Jones - Samuel Gerard
Jeroen Krabbé - Dr. Charles Nichols

“I had to fight all my life to survive. They were all against me, but I beat the bastards and left them in the ditch.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“- Ramona: That don't scare me, 'cause if you shoot me, I'll be dead. And you're not gonna screw a dead lady!
- Ty Cobb: I might like it.”

Lolita Davidovich - Ramona
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“- Captain Bully Hayes: If you want Ben, you don't knock on his front door.
- Nathaniel Williamson: He wouldn't answer?
- Captain Bully Hayes: He'd blow your brains out.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Captain Bully Hayes
Michael O'Keefe - Nathaniel Williamson

“- Ed Tom Bell: That man that shot you died in prison.
- Ellis: Angola. Yeah...
- Ed Tom Bell: What you'd done he had been released?
- Ellis: Oh, I dunno. Nothing. Wouldn't be no point in it.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Ed Tom Bell
Barry Corbin - Ellis

“- Ty Cobb: I am the Georgia Peach. I have 4,191 base hits in 11,429 at bats, 920 stolen bases, 2,244 runs scored, and 93 batting records; and I want you to take off every stitch of your clothes.
- Ramona: I don't think so.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb
Lolita Davidovich - Ramona

“- Det. Emily Sanders: I was wondering if you knew if your son had any enemies.
- Hank Deerfield: You mean other than the thousands of Iraqis and foreign fighters that have been trying to kill him till a couple of weeks ago?”
Charlize Theron - Det. Emily Sanders
Tommy Lee Jones - Hank Deerfield

“- Loretta Bell: Be careful.
- Ed Tom Bell: I always am.
- Loretta Bell: Don't get hurt.
- Ed Tom Bell: I never do.
- Loretta Bell: Don't hurt no one.
- Ed Tom Bell: Well. If you say so.”
Tess Harper - Loretta Bell
Tommy Lee Jones - Ed Tom Bell

“- Wendell: You know, there might not have been no money.
- Ed Tom Bell: That's possible.
- Wendell: But you don't believe it.
- Ed Tom Bell: No. Probably I don't.
- Wendell: It's a mess, ain't it, sheriff?
- Ed Tom Bell: If it ain't, it'll do till the mess gets here.”
Garret Dillahunt - Wendell
Tommy Lee Jones - Ed Tom Bell

“- Hank Deerfield: That's how you fight monsters. You lure them in close to you, you look them in the eye, you smack them down.
- David Sanders: You fight a lot of monsters?
- Hank Deerfield: Yeah.
- David Sanders: You win?
- Hank Deerfield: If I didn't I'd have been crushed, right?”
Tommy Lee Jones - Hank Deerfield
Devin Brochu - David Sanders