W.C. Fields movie quotes

“- Gloria: We're falling 2,000 feet!
- The Great Man: It's all right, dear. Don't start worrying 'til we get down 1,999. The last foot is dangerous.”
Gloria Jean - Gloria
W.C. Fields - The Great Man

“- Lord Droopy: Aren't you awake yet?
- S.B. Bellows: Ohhhhh! I don't know. I haven't looked yet.”
Lionel Pape - Lord Droopy
W.C. Fields - S. B. Bellows

“If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.”
W.C. Fields - Cuthbert J. Twillie

“- Grace Fielding: Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Bellows. I didn't recognize you in this bad light.
- S.B. Bellows: Ah, everybody seems to see me in a bad light.”
Grace Bradley - Grace Fielding
W.C. Fields - S. B. Bellows

“I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.”
W.C. Fields

“- Mr. Bel-Goodie: You're a fraud, a charlatan and a rogue, sir!
- Larson E. Whipsnade: Oh, is that in my favor?”
Thurston Hall - Mr. Bel-Goodie
W.C. Fields - Larson E. Whipsnade

“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”
W.C. Fields

“- First reporter: Say, do you know anything about electricity?
- S.B. Bellows: My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at State Prison.”
Jimmy Conlin - First reporter
W.C. Fields - S. B. Bellows

“I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.”
W.C. Fields

“There's not a man in America who at one time or another hasn't had a secret desire to boot a child in the ass.”
W.C. Fields

“Throw her back in, let the sharks protect themselves!”

W.C. Fields - S. B. Bellows

“Meet me down in the bar! We'll drink breakfast together.”
W.C. Fields - S. B. Bellows

“Had he been a younger man, he probably would have made it. That's the point. Don't wait too long in life.”

W.C. Fields - Egbert Sousé

“- Gloria: Why didn't you ever marry?
- The Great Man: I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.”
Gloria Jean - Gloria
W.C. Fields - The Great Man

“- Mrs. Hemogloben: You're so full of romance!
- The Great Man: Every night, every night.”
Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Hemogloben
W.C. Fields - The Great Man

“- The President: Hello sweetheart.
- Migg Tweeny: Listen, my name's Tweeny.
- The President: You'll always be sweetheart to me.
- Migg Tweeny: I know, I know, but there's talk already.”
W.C. Fields - The President
Jack Oakie - Migg Tweeny