Zach Galifianakis quotes
- From the movie: Masterminds
“Steve was a petty thief, mostly known for stealing tiny wheelchairs from pediatric hospitals.”
“- Jake: Oh my gosh! How do you know Mike Shiner?
- Lesley: We share a vagina.”- From the movie: Masterminds
“I'm starting to feel like a corn dog at a hot dog party, and it ain't flattering, I'll tell you that.”
- From the movie: The Hangover 3
“My name's Alan and I bought a giraffe! Oh, my life is perfect!”
- From the movie: Due Date
- Ethan Tremblay: My father always had a saying "When a day starts like this it's all uphill from here".
- Peter Highman: Uphill? No, it's all downhill from here.
- Ethan Tremblay: But nobody wants to be down, everybody wants to be up. It's all uphill from here.
- Peter Highman: But it's easier to go downhill. So your dad had no idea what the... (continue)(continue reading) - From the movie: Due Date
“- Peter Highman: That was William Shakespeare. Have you heard of him?
- Ethan Tremblay: Yes, I've heard of Shakespeare. He was a famous pirate. By the way it’s ‘Shakesbeard’.” - From the movie: The Hangover Part II
- From the movie: The Hangover
“- Alan: I was so upset when my grandpa died.
- Phil: How'd he die?
- Alan: World War II.
- Phil: Died in battle?
- Alan: No, he was skiing in Vermont, it was just during World War II.” - From the movie: Due Date
“- Peter Highman: How have you made it this far? How have you not run yourself over in a car?
- Ethan Tremblay: I've done that.” - From the movie: The Hangover Part II
“- Alan: You totally butchered that song.
- Stu: You totally butchered my life.” - From the movie: The Hangover 3
- From the movie: The Hangover 3
“- Stu: Do you even know how to get home?
- Alan: Of course I do. I'm a grown man. I'll ask a stranger.” - From the movie: The Hangover 3
“- Sid: You're my best friend but Alan why would you buy a giraffe?
- Alan: I always wanted one! Could feed him from my tree house. Besides they remind me a lot of myself.
- Sid: In what way?
- Alan: They're majestic. Pensive and tall.” - From the movie: The Hangover 3
- From the movie: The Hangover Part II
“- Stu: There's a demon in me.
- Alan: It's true, he has semen in him.” - From the movie: The Hangover Part II
“- Stu: Oh my God! We kidnapped a monk!
- Alan: We live an alternative lifestyle.” - From the movie: The Hangover
“- Phil: You're not really wearing that are you?
- Alan: Wearing what?
- Phil: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you guys just fuckin' with me?
- Alan: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.” - From the movie: Due Date
“- Peter Highman: I despise who you are on a cellular level.
- Ethan Tremblay: Okay, I've heard that before and I'm trying to work on it.” - From the movie: Out Cold
- From the movie: The Hangover Part II
- From the movie: Puss in Boots
“- Humpty Alexander Dumpty: I'm not a person. I'm not a bird. I'm not even a food. I don't know what I am.
- Puss in Boots: You are what you have always been: my brother.” - From the movie: Due Date
“Dad, you were like a father to me.”
- From the movie: The Hangover
“- Stu: You are a fucking moron!
- Alan: Your language is offensive.
- Stu: Fuck you!” - From the movie: The Hangover
“- Stu: You are literally too stupid to insult.
- Alan: Thank you.” - From the movie: Out Cold
“Can you get an STD from a polar bear?”
Highlights