“Almost Heroes” quotes

There's an old saying: ”white water in the morning”.
Hamilton Camp - Pratt

“- Lady: I hope Satan himself burns the flesh from your miserable bones.
- Hunt: Good God, Lady.”
Chris Farley - Bartholomew Hunt

“- Higgins: This particular event happened last summer on my uncle's farm in Virginia. My brother and I had just finished cutting a field of hay and were enjoying the evening meal under the shade of an elm tree. He went down for water by the creek and when he was gone, I took a bowl that was filled with delicious plum pudding and placed into it,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Steven M. Porter - Higgins
Matthew Perry - Leslie Edwards
Chris Farley - Bartholomew Hunt

“The next person who leaves for New Orleans will do so with a lead ball in his back!”
Chris Farley - Bartholomew Hunt

I name this here fork "Pittsburgh Nellie”, a Welsh whore who could do things with her one good arm that'd make you forget that thing on her neck.
Chris Farley - Bartholomew Hunt