“Armed and Dangerous” quotes

(1986)
Movie Armed and Dangerous
Title Armed and Dangerous
Year 1986
Director Mark L. Lester
Genre Comedy, Crime, Action
Plot – Frank Dooley is a very clumsy policeman that one evening, in the attempt to arrest two corrupt colleagues, is accused in turn and expelled by the police. At the same time lawyer Norman Kane, feared by a convict during a trial, is invited by the judge himself to leave the profession. The two men accidentally meet in the Private Guards school, directed by Clarence O'Connell and his daughter Maggie. When Frank and Norman get the diploma, they are assigned to the surveillance of a pharmaceutical building and here they assist powerless to a theft, so they are fined and threatened by the president of the Private Guards' union, Michael Carlino. They are entrusted a humiliating task: watching a rubbish dumps with toxic fumes. Frank and Norman are exasperated but find out who is the instigator of all the thefts: Carlino along with Clarence. They motivate themselves to unmask them, asking help to Maggie with whom Norman has fallen in love. With a gimmick, Frank and Norman go to Carlino's party where they hear about a hit: the treasurer of the union will be Carlino and Clarence's third accomplice, but he disagrees and is killed by Carlino who manages to accuse again Frank and Norman for the murder. They escape from the party and prepare the plan to vanquish once and for all the racket of the union. Between chases and shootouts, Frank and Norman succeed and arrest all the criminals, so they are rehabilitated.
All actors – John Candy, Eugene Levy, Robert Loggia, Kenneth McMillan, Meg Ryan, Brion James, Jonathan Banks, Don Stroud, Larry Hankin, Steve Railsback, Robert Burgos, Tony Burton
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  • “- Judge: Mr. Kane, you are one of the worst lawyers I've ever known.
    - Norman Kane: Well, then I move for a mistrial.”

    Stacy Keach Sr. - Judge
    Eugene Levy - Norman Kane
    [Tag:lawyers, mistake]
  • “Gosh, I didn't realize it was going to be this formal. If I had known it was going to be this kind of party I would have worn underwear.”
    Judy Landers - Noreen
  • “I'm only gonna say this once. I'm a special officer. You have to get me to the corner of 83rd and Aviation in 10 minutes... otherwise, two wonderful people that I know are gonna die.”

    John Candy - Frank Dooley
    [Tag:death, helping, police]
  • “- The Cowboy: Slim, I ain't never seen a handgun that big before.
    - Frank Dooley: Yeah, it's a 50 caliber. They used to use it to hunt buffalo with... up close! It's only legal in two states. And this isn't one of them.”

    Steve Railsback - The Cowboy
    John Candy - Frank Dooley
  • “There are only two things that you have to remember: never fall asleep where anyone can see you and make sure your name is very clearly marked on your lunch.”

    Meg Ryan - Maggie Cavanaugh
    [Tag:advice]
  • “Just remember, when you pull the trigger, the bullets come out going very, very fast. So make sure to keep the weapon pointing away from you. Now that's about it. You are now armed... guards. God help us all.”
    Meg Ryan - Maggie Cavanaugh
Highlights