“Better Than Chocolate” quotes

“I read a study and after the age of forty a woman's chances of having sex are diminished by eighty percent. So, after fifty, God help you. And since I probably won't be having sex again, chocolate is the only pleasure left for me.”
Wendy Crewson - Lila

“- Tony: Can you believe she's never been in my coffee shop? Tell her how great it is.
- Kim: Come on, I just got here. I haven't been anywhere.
- Tony: Come on! Tell her how great it is, fuck!
- Maggie: It's great. Fuck.”

Tony Nappo - Tony
Christina Cox - Kim
Karyn Dwyer - Maggie

Customs held up another order of books at the border. They're claiming the books are pornographic... hello? Which they aren't. Well, maybe "Butches in Chains" is, but so what?
Marya Delver - Carla

“- Paul: Are you sure you like boys?
- Carla: Soft centers, hard centers. I like all the chocolates in the box.”
Kevin Mundy - Paul
Marya Delver - Carla

“You're not bi-sexual, Carla, you're omni-sexual! You're like that tornado in the Wizard of Oz, sweeping up everything in your path.”
Karyn Dwyer - Maggie

“- Lila: What is going on with her these days?
- Judy: You'd have to ask her that, Lila.
- Lila: So, there is something going on?
- Judy: Oh, well, she's nineteen. There's always something going on when you're nineteen.”

Wendy Crewson - Lila
Peter Outerbridge - Judy

“- Frances: Seriously, Mr. Marcus, the Supreme Court has declared that anal sex is to gay male sex what Mozart is to classical music.
- Mr. Marcus: Miss Turner, we are not here to discuss classical music. I myself am a huge Mozart fan, but...
- Frances: Look, the fucking Supreme Court has declared this natural. It is not obscene.”
Ann-Marie MacDonald - Frances
Jay Brazeau - Mr. Marcus

“- Mr. Marcus: The books have been classified as obscene and will not be allowed through the border. Now, if I can just get you to sign here.
- Frances: Little Red Riding Hood is obscene?
- Mr. Marcus: Well, we, we thought it was something else.”
Jay Brazeau - Mr. Marcus
Ann-Marie MacDonald - Frances

“It's the plight of the bisexual. Gay girls won't play with you.”
Marya Delver - Carla

I'm off Thursday on the "Love that latex" safe sex tour. I'm giving safe sex demonstrations from Tuktoyaktuk to Yellowknife.
Corrine Koslo - Safe Sex Advocate

“- Judy: I'm Jeremy.
- Lila: You're a man?
- Judy: No, no, no, no, no, not really. Not ever. I was born into a man's body but I've always been a woman and well, after the final surgery...
- Lila: I think I need a little drink.”
Peter Outerbridge - Judy
Wendy Crewson - Lila

“Sometimes you have this bubbling up feeling, this certain sort of... rage.”
Peter Outerbridge - Judy