“Blank Check” quotes

“- Carl Quigley: See anyone that looks like him?
- Juice: Yeah he looks like him. She looks like him. Oh look over there! There goes his little twin brother. You give me one picture and expect me to find him among all these kids? You must be crazy, I'm gonna get on the waterslide.”

Miguel Ferrer - Quigley
Tone Loc - Juice

“- Shay Stanley: What exactly does Mr. Macintosh do anyway?
- Preston Waters: A little of this and a little of that. You know.
- Shay Stanley: No I'm afraid I don't. Is he an entrepreneur?
- Preston Waters: No, he's American.”
Karen Duffy - Shay Stanley
Brian Bonsall - Preston Waters

“- Preston Waters: When will I see you again?
- Shay Stanley: Why don't you give me a call in, let's say, 10 years?
- Preston Waters: Five.
- Shay Stanley: Seven.
- Preston Waters: Six.
- Shay Stanley: Okay, it's a date.”
Brian Bonsall - Preston Waters
Karen Duffy - Shay Stanley

“- Preston Waters: There was supposed to be ice cream and pizza. What's going on?
- Henry: This could've been a pizza, you know, before it was run over by a couple of trucks.”

Brian Bonsall - Preston Waters
Rick Ducommun - Henry

“- Juice: I had a dog once that was hit by a train.
- Carl Quigley: Thanks for sharing.
- Juice: Old King Cole, we called him. He was a merry old soul.”
Tone Loc - Juice
Miguel Ferrer - Quigley

“I worked hard to steal that money and you went and gave it to some zit faced little kid?”
Miguel Ferrer - Quigley

“Get yourself some flowers, good clothes, good food, a car, and learn how to use words like 'non-committal', and you are a date and a half, man.”
Rick Ducommun - Henry

“- Juice: You're in a lot of trouble today little man.
- Carl Quigley: Yes, because today I have been drinking vodka.”
Tone Loc - Juice
Miguel Ferrer - Quigley

“It's an old saying, Man. Like, there's more than one way to skin a cat, you hear that one? Who skins cats? Why would you skin a cat? And there is not more than one way to skin a cat, there is only one way! You grab the cat and rip the skin off. What's a number two way? Do you put a hose up the cat's butt and he gets so bloated that he skins...” (continue)(continue reading)

Rick Ducommun - Henry

“- Carl Quigley: What I expect is that if I give someone a million dollars and I come back the next day, I find the million dollars. That's what I expect!
- Biderman: Carl, I'm not a magician, okay?
- Carl Quigley: So you can make it disappear but you can't make it reappear, is that it?”
Miguel Ferrer - Quigley
Michael Lerner - Biderman

“- Sandra Waters: What do you want for your birthday?
- Preston Waters: Money, so I can pay to have Ralph and Damien knocked off.”
Jayne Atkinson - Sandra Waters
Brian Bonsall - Preston Waters

“- Carl Quigley: How could you spend a million dollars in just six days?
- Juice: You must have not been shopping lately.”
Miguel Ferrer - Quigley
Tone Loc - Juice

“- Fred Waters: Here's six bucks. You can have fun all day on that.
- Preston Waters: You don't get out much, do you Dad?”
James Rebhorn - Fred Waters
Brian Bonsall - Preston Waters

“- Henry: You know what they say about gold.
- Preston Waters: He who has the gold makes the rules?
- Henry: No, no, no, no, no, no. A fool and his gold are soon parted.”
Rick Ducommun - Henry
Brian Bonsall - Preston Waters

“Kill two birds with one stone, you heard that one? You know anybody who's actually killed one bird with one stone? Kids try it all the time. You can't hit a bird with a stone unless you have a giant rock and a little baby bird.”
Rick Ducommun - Henry

“- Sandra Waters: How much money did you get last year?
- Preston Waters: A thousand.
- Fred Waters: Ten dollars!
- Preston Waters: Wait, Dad, what about inflation?
- Fred Waters: Okay, I'll make it eleven.”

Jayne Atkinson - Sandra Waters
Brian Bonsall - Preston Waters
James Rebhorn - Fred Waters

“- Biderman: You can use these checks. They're temporary.
- Carl Quigley: Thank you, Edward.
- Biderman: Like our relationship.”
Michael Lerner - Biderman
Miguel Ferrer - Quigley