“Comedian” quotes

“The equivalent for a normal person would be to go into work each day in your underwear and try and do your job that you normally do. All of a sudden you can't do anything. That's how a comedian feels when he's doing a new bit.”
Jerry Seinfeld - Himself

Last year I thought I had lupus, has that happened to you yet? I was on the bus and I saw an ad, "Chances are that somebody on the bus has lupus". I look around, I'm the only one on the bus.
Orny Adams - Himself

“I sent two healthy 65-year old parents to South Florida. 30 years later - dead! I mean what is it, the water, the air - it's a death camp!”
Robert Klein - Himself