“Coneheads” quotes

“- Lisa Farber: All men are pigs.
- Prymatt Conehead: Ah, pigs. An omnivorous domesticated cloven-hooved vertebrate that defecates in the same place it consumes.
- Lisa Farber: Exactly.”
Lisa Jane Persky - Lisa Farber
Jane Curtin - Prymatt Conehead

“- Beldar Conehead: An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable.
- Highmaster: Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?
- Beldar Conehead: A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth and a small fur-covered mammal.”
Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead
Dave Thomas - Highmaster

“- Connie Conehead: I think I'll have some Tang.
- Prymatt Conehead: Ah Tang, the drink astronauts took to the moon.
- Beldar Conehead: Astronauts to the moon?”
Michelle Burke - Connie Conehead
Jane Curtin - Prymatt Conehead
Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead

“May I have 55 words with you?”
Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead

“Your positive perception of me is vital to my existence. Besides, it is not everyday a father can give the world to his child.”

Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead

“- Eli Turnbull, INS Agent: If they are in fact aliens from another planet, sir, doesn't that make them Air Force jurisdiction?
- Gorman Seedling, INS Deputy Commissioner: If they're just visiting, sure. But the minute they try to work here, they're mine.”
David Spade - Eli Turnbull, INS Agent
Michael McKean - Gorman Seedling, INS Deputy Commissioner

“- Otto: Are you telling me you don't have a social security number?
- Beldar Conehead: Correct.
- Otto: Why not?
- Beldar Conehead: I am an illegal alien.”
Sinbad - Otto
Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead