“Dirty Grandpa” quotes

She told me on her deathbed: “you get back out there again”.
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly

“Party 'till you're pregnant!”
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly

“- Dick Kelly: We have a long standing bet: who's the better golfer. Obviously I've got the bigger three wood.
- Lenore: Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina.
- Jason Kelly: Holy shit.”
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly
Aubrey Plaza - Lenore
Zac Efron - Jason Kelly

“- Jason Kelly: [shows up in a yellow sweater and plaid slacks] Well, how do I look?
- Dick Kelly: Like the keynote speaker at a butt-fucking convention.”
Zac Efron - Jason Kelly
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly

“- Jason Kelly: Being a corporate lawyer, you know, it's got its upsides.
- Dick Kelly: You know what I'd rather do?
- Jason Kelly: What?
- Dick Kelly: I'd rather let Queen Latifah shit in my mouth from a fucking hot air balloon.”
Zac Efron - Jason Kelly
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly

“- Cousin Nick: Fuckin' sucks dick about grandma, huh? Old woman fuckin' murdered like that.
- Jason Kelly: I think she had cancer.
- Cousin Nick: We'll never know the truth.
- Jason Kelly: We absolutely know the truth. Grandma had cancer for ten years.
- Cousin Nick: You don't just die from cancer, Jason.”
Adam Pally - Cousin Nick
Zac Efron - Jason Kelly

“I haven’t had sex in 15 years! And I want to fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly

“- Dick Kelly: We're gonna thunderfuck.
- Lenore: You're gonna tsunami on my face.
- Dick Kelly: You're gonna flood like the Nile.
- Lenore: Yeah, I guess the drought in my pussy is finally over.
- Dick Kelly: The villagers will finally eat.
- Lenore: If you're gonna die while you're eating me out, I want your last breath to be in my pussy.
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly
Aubrey Plaza - Lenore
Jake Picking - Cody

“Rip my bra off like your ripping open your Social Security Check!”
Aubrey Plaza - Lenore