“Dracula: Dead and Loving It” quotes

(1995)
Movie Dracula: Dead and Loving It
Mel Brooks directed this movie in 1995
Title Dracula: Dead and Loving It
Year 1995
Director Mel Brooks
Genre Comedy, Horror, Thriller
Plot – 1893. Thomas Renfield is a lawyer who doesn't care of the local citizens warnings and ventures to the castle of Count Dracula in Transylvania to sell him a property in London. The vampire makes Renfield his follower and travels with him to London by ship. Dracula bleeds to death the entire crew and seduces Lucy Westenra, a Mina Seaward's friend. Mina is Jonathan Harker's girlfriend and Dr. Seaward's daughter, the asylum's director. Renfield is locked there and the visits of the Count exhaust Lucy. She deteriorates visibly and despite the efforts of Van Helsing, a Seaward's friend and an occult expert, the girl dies. Harker decides to protect the dead girl, who revives and attacks him. The scientist intervenes in extremis and rejects her in the coffin, where Harker pierces her heart with a stake. When Dracula kidnaps Mina, Van Helsing, Harker and Dr. Seaward follow him in the crypt and engage a mortal combat with the monster. Eventually he's defeated by Renfield.
All actors – Leslie Nielsen, Peter MacNicol, Steven Weber, Amy Yasbeck, Lysette Anthony, Mel Brooks, Harvey Korman, Mark Blankfield, Megan Cavanagh, Clive Revill, Chuck McCann, Avery Schreiber, Cherie Franklin, Ezio Greggio, Leslie S. Sachs, Matthew Porretta, Rudy De Luca, Jennifer Crystal Foley, Darla Haun, Karen Roe, Charlie Callas, Phillip Connery, Tony Griffin, Casey King, Nicholas Rempel, Zale Kessler, Barbaree Earl Nielsen, Maura Nielsen Kaplan, Thea Nielsen Disney, Robin Shepard, Elaine Ballace, Maud Winchester, Gregg Binkley, Lisa Cordray, Cindy Marshall-Day, Ben Livingston, Anne Bancroft, David DeLuise, Ric Coy, Tommy Koenig, Michael Connors, Grinnell Morris, Vince Grant, Stephen Wolfe Smith, Richard Allen Stewart, Brad Grunberg, Carol Arthur, Derek Mark Lochran, Sonje Fortag, Ira Miller, Henry Kaiser, Kathleen Kane, Loraine Shields, David Savoy, Sharon Savoy, Audrey K. Baranishyn, Delores Nemiro, Jeffrey Broadhurst, Jim Peace, Kevin Crawford, Jodi Peterson, John Frayer, Dennon Rawles, Sandi Johnson, Sandy Rovetta, Shirley Kirkes, Alton Ruff, Manette LaChance, Blane Savage, Stan Mazin, Ted Sprague, Patricia McFarlin-Mattson, Jude Van Wormer, Anne McVey, Allen Walls
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  • “- Harker: But Lucy, I'm British!
    - Lucy: But so are these!”

    Steven Weber - Harker
    Lysette Anthony
    [Tag:breast, flirting]
  • “- Harker: Oh... my... God! There's so much blood!
    - Professor Van Helsing: She just ate! Hit her again!
    - Harker: Oh no... I can't...
    - Professor Van Helsing: How much blood can she have left? She's almost dead!
    - Harker: She's dead enough.”

    Steven Weber - Harker
    Mel Brooks - Abraham Van Helsing
    [Tag:blood, death]
  • “- Young Lover at Picnic: Would you care for some wine?
    - Dracula: I never drink wine... oh, what the hell. Let me try it.”

    Ben Livingston - Young Lover at Picnic
    Leslie William Nielsen - Dracula
  • “- Dr. Seward: Count Dracula, allow me to introduce Professor Abraham Van Helsing of London University. He's a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy.
    - Professor Van Helsing: And gynaecology.
    - Dr. Seward: Oh, I didn't know you had your hand in that, too.”

    Harvey Korman - Dr. Seward
    Mel Brooks - Abraham Van Helsing
  • “- Dr. Seward: I don't understand it! he's covered in blood and there's not a drop on you!
    - Professor Van Helsing: I have been to many stakings- you have to know where to stand! You know, everything in life is location, location, location...”

    Harvey Korman - Dr. Seward
    Mel Brooks - Abraham Van Helsing
  • - Professor Van Helsing: Count Dracula. Hmm, curious. Are you descended from Vlad Tepes? The first Dracula?
    - Dr. Seward: Tepes?
    - Professor Van Helsing: Ya. It means "the impaler". He was a blood-thirsty butchah. He inflicted unspeakable tortures on the peasants: cutting off their hands and feet, gouging out their eyes and then impaling them on... (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Mel Brooks - Abraham Van Helsing
    Harvey Korman - Dr. Seward
    [Tag:torture, vampire]
  • “You will be my bride throughout eternity, we'll share the endless passion of immortal love!”

    Leslie William Nielsen - Dracula
  • “- Mina: It makes me so happy to be at the Opera! I love this palace of art and beauty!
    - Harker: Johnathan: Oh yes my dear, the Opera is astonishing! The music is frothed with love, hate, sensuality and unbridled passion!... All the things in my life I've managed to suppress so far.”

    Amy Yasbeck - Mina Murray
    Steven Weber - Harker
  • “- Harker: Give me the stake. No. No, I can't do it... you do it!
    - Professor Van Helsing: It must be done by one who loved her in life!
    - Harker: I only liked her!
    - Professor Van Helsing: Close enough!”

    Steven Weber - Harker
    Mel Brooks - Abraham Van Helsing
    [Tag:love, murder]
  • “- Lucy: I know you've always wanted me, and I've always wanted you. Finally we can be together.
    - Harker: But Lucy, I'm engaged to Mina... and you're dead.
    - Lucy: I'm not dead. I'm undead.
    - Harker: Yes, well, I'm not unengaged.”

    Lysette Anthony - Lucy Westenra
    Steven Weber - Harker
  • “- Martin: You'll stay in here 'til you rot! Well, you're free to go!
    - Renfield: Why? How?
    - Martin: Good behavior.
    - Renfield: But I've only been here for a moment.
    - Martin: For that moment, you were very good.”

    Mark Blankfield - Martin
    Peter MacNicol - Renfield
  • “- Harker: She's alive?
    - Professor Van Helsing: She's Nosferatu.
    - Harker: She's Italian?”

    Steven Weber - Harker
    Mel Brooks - Abraham Van Helsing
    [Tag:vampire]
  • “- Dracula: Renfield, you were having a nightmare!
    - Renfield: A nightmare? But it was so real, so vivid. Two voluptuous women; grinding, heaving. I don't know how to describe it... have you ever been to Paris?”

    Leslie William Nielsen - Dracula
    Peter MacNicol - Renfield
    [Tag:lust, paris, women]
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