“Drop Dead Gorgeous” quotes

“- Amber Atkins: My mom never hid the fact that my dad chose his career over us. What was it she always said?
- Loretta: Once a carnie, always a carnie.
- Amber Atkins: Mom still cries every time she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top.”
Kirsten Dunst - Amber Atkins
Allison Janney - Loretta

“I'd have good strong roots in a town like Mt. Rose, a solid Christian trunk, and long, leafy branches to provide shade for handicappedkids on a hot summer day.”

Denise Richards - Rebecca 'Becky' Ann Leeman

“To live in a country where you can take an ugly old mountain and put faces on it, faces of great Americans who did so much to make our country super great. Well, that makes me Rebecca Leeman, proud to be an American.”
Denise Richards - Rebecca 'Becky' Ann Leeman

“- Gladys Leeman: [wearing her old pageant outfit] And can you believe it, they still fit!
- Loretta: She had a big ass then, she's got a big ass now.”
Kirstie Alley - Gladys Leeman
Allison Janney - Loretta

“- Loretta: You are a good person. Good things happen to good people.
- Amber Atkins: Really?
- Loretta: No. It's pure bullshit, sweetie. You're lucky as hell, so you might as well enjoy it.”
Allison Janney - Loretta
Kirsten Dunst - Amber Atkins

“- Loretta: She's the prettiest, ya know. Best damn tapper. The most smartest.
- Annette Atkins: Most smartest? Oh, that's great, you're real educated. Most smartest! Get a picture of that, most smartest!
- Loretta: Most smartest.”
Allison Janney - Loretta
Ellen Barkin - Annette Atkins

“- Annette Atkins: Honey, honey, come talk to Mommy. I promise, whatever it is, I won't be mad.
- Amber Atkins: Okay, I'm quitting the pageant.
- Annette Atkins: [grabs Amber Atkins by the shirt and begins hitting her with a beer can] What?”

Ellen Barkin - Annette Atkins
Kirsten Dunst - Amber Atkins

“I was Mount Rose American Teen Princess 1945. We were at war with the Japs. Didn't even get to keep my damn tiara. Had to turn it in for scrap.”
Claudia Wilkens - Iona Hildebrandt, 1945 Winner

“- Terry Macy, State Pagent: Somebody call a doctor!
- Colleen Douglas, State Pagent: A doctor? Somebody call a priest!”

Mo Gaffney - Terry Macy, State Pagent
Nora Dunn - Colleen Douglas, State Pagent

“With one week to go before the pageant, I was finishing my outfit, rehearsing my talent, brushing up on current events, and running 18 miles a day on about 400 calories. I was ready.”
Alexandra Holden - Mary Johanson

I can sum up our entire philosophy with this glass. I can look at it and say it's half-full, which in the beauty pageant biz means "where the hell's my waiter?".
Nora Dunn - Colleen Douglas, State Pagent

I don't eat shellfish. Mom always says, "don't ever eat nothin' that can carry its house around with it. Who knows the last time it's been cleaned".
Kirsten Dunst - Amber Atkins

- Amber Atkins: Mom? Mom?
- Fireman: Whoa, whoa, whoa... you family?
- Loretta: No, she's just yelling "mom, mom" because she has Tourettes! She's Annette's kid dipshit.

Kirsten Dunst - Amber Atkins
Jeff Tatum - Fireman
Allison Janney - Loretta

“- Colleen Douglas, State Pagent: Look at that one there. I think that she's had a boob job.
- Terry Macy, State Pagent: Oh, come on. She's too young for a boob job.
- Colleen Douglas, State Pagent: They do that at birth now, what are you talking about?”
Nora Dunn - Colleen Douglas, State Pagent
Mo Gaffney - Terry Macy, State Pagent

“- Annette Atkins: [walks in and sees the camera crew] Aw, shit.
- Amber Atkins: Oh, they're from Los Angeles. They wanted to see my room and film me for their movie.
- Annette Atkins: Yah, well, if they ask you to take your top off, get the money first.”

Ellen Barkin - Annette Atkins
Kirsten Dunst - Amber Atkins

“I am reaching the point where I would kill someone for the nicotine under their fingernails.”
Ellen Barkin - Annette Atkins

“- Documentarian: Do you think that most people would say that teenage beauty pageants are a good idea?
- Gladys Leeman: Oh yeah, sure. I know what some of your big city, no-bra-wearing, hairy-legged women libbers might say. They might say that a pageant is old-fashioned and demeaning to the girls.”
Thomas Lennon - Documentarian
Kirstie Alley - Gladys Leeman

“- Lars Larson: You have to go home. There's some kind of emergency at the trailer park.
- Amber Atkins: Relax, that's my ma's code for bring home milk and a carton of Lucky's.
- Lars Larson: No, Loretta called; there's been a fire!”
Tom Gilshannon - Lars Larson
Kirsten Dunst - Amber Atkins

“- Candy Striper: Hello Miss Sad Pants, and her friend, Serious Sally! How about a nice cool mint to help turn those frowns upside down?
- Loretta: Do you think a nice cool mint would help if I shoved your head up your ass?”
Allyson Kearns - Candy Striper
Allison Janney - Loretta