“Ernest Scared Stupid” quotes

“What good is a wooden dog? Sure they swim better, but what am I gonna call him, Splinter?”

Jim Varney - Ernest

“I never knew when to quit. Just ask my fourth grade teacher.”
Jim Varney - Ernest

“Pretty soon the kids won't have to worry about eating their Brussel sprouts because the Brussel sprouts will be eating them.”
Jim Varney - Ernest

“When you play charades you play for keeps. Knowhatimean?”

Jim Varney - Ernest

“- Trantor: You will die for the disgrace of your forefathers!
- Ernest: I didn't have four fathers! I only had one father and I didn't know him that well!”
Jonas Moscartolo - Trantor
Jim Varney - Ernest

“Sometimes you've got to do what you know is right, no matter what anybody tells you.”

Austin Nagler - Old Lady Hackmore

“Be grateful, little trolls in China don't even get milk.”

Jim Varney - Ernest

“We have nothing to fear but fear itself, plus the known fact that Old Lady Hackmore will turn us into a couple of drooling, red eyed zombies if she catches us here.”

Jim Varney - Ernest