“Eurotrip” quotes

“- Cooper Harris: Europe is like the size of the Eastwood Mall. We can walk to Berlin from there.
- Scott Thomas: Cooper, England's an island.
- Cooper Harris: OK, swim, whatever. We'll take it.”
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris
Scott Mechlowicz - Scott Thomas

“- Cooper Harris: Check this out! I'm the Pope!
- Scott Thomas: Cooper, take off the Pope hat!
- Cooper Harris: Oh no, it's okay, I'm Catholic.”
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris
Scott Mechlowicz - Scott Thomas

“Once you are inside, the doors are chained and locked from the outside. They will not be opened again until morning, no matter what. Should a fire occur due to our faulty wiring or, uh, the fireworks factory upstairs you will be incinerated along with the valuables that you have hidden in your anus. Tips are greatly appreciated.”

Joanna Lumley - Hostel Clerk

“- Scott Thomas: What do you mean you're dumping me?
- Fiona: Scott, I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore.
- Scott Thomas: What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you!
- Fiona: I know. That's what makes this so hard.”
Scott Mechlowicz - Scott Thomas
Kristin Kreuk - Fiona

“- Jenny: It says here this town has a famous nude beach.
- Cooper Harris: Alright, look, we can't all just lie around all day, we've got to get out there and experience the culture first hand!”
Michelle Trachtenberg - Jenny
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris
Michelle Trachtenberg

“- Hooligan: So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yarbles!
- Cooper Harris: Wow. You guys are on like a completely different level of swearing over here.”

Paul Oldham - Hooligan
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris

“- Cooper Harris: Oh, forget about the law firm. And don't thank me, I should be thanking you. This trip is a once in a life-time opportunity for me to broaden my sexual horizons.
- Scott Thomas: What are you talking about?
- Cooper Harris: I'm talking about crazy European sex.”
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris
Scott Mechlowicz - Scott Thomas

“This sucks. I can't believe I'm the only one who didn't hook up while we were here. Europe is officially the worst country on earth.”
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris

“Hello, and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel. We feature one medium sized room containing 70 beds which can sleep up to 375 bodies a night. There is no bathroom. Nor is there one nearby.”

Joanna Lumley - Hostel Clerk

“You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, Cooper Harris, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright... which is a series of erotic and sexually challenging adventures.”
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris

“I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came.”
Scott Mechlowicz - Scott Thomas

“- Cooper Harris: What the hell is that?
- Jamie: It's a traveler's money belt. Frommer's says as long as you have one of these, no one can rob you of anything.
- Scott Thomas: Except your dignity.”
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris
Michelle Trachtenberg - Jenny
Scott Mechlowicz - Scott Thomas

“- Scott Thomas: I told her to keep her hands off my genitals.
- Cooper Harris: Well given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want.”
Scott Mechlowicz - Scott Thomas
Jacob Pitts - Cooper Harris